Lovesick
by Dragon-Overlord-Yuu
Summary: The moon fell in love with the sun...and it's killing him.
1. Sprout

**Hello guess who's back to torture cute boys for fun O u O**

* * *

It's been a month.

A month since their Cinderella production.

A month since Apollon kissed Yui up on that stage.

A month since Apollon confessed his undying love for her while escorting her back to her dorm.

A month since they happily announced their relationship to the class the next day.

A month since Yui's love broke Apollon's shackle.

The others were quite happy for them, surprisingly. Tsukito had the notion that they were all interested in Yui to some degree, but since the sun god had beat them to it, they willingly give up on those feelings without a problem. All Tsukito could do was join them and offer a simple "congratulations."

But then something changed.

The new couple wasn't exactly...subtle. It didn't take long before Tsukito found himself hating the way they flaunted all these affectionate gestures at every opportunity, the way they would sneak kisses in the halls when they thought no one was around to see.

He would cringe when he heard their shrill giggles from a distance. Tsukito actually used to like the sound of Apollon's laugh. But now combined with Yui's, it was the most annoying sound. Like nails on a chalkboard.

The occasional surprise hugs Tsukito would receive suddenly stopped happening. Instead, Yui would have Apollon's arms lovingly wrapped around her waist.

He hated the way those sparkling green eyes would gaze adoringly at Yui and Yui alone. In a short span of a month, Yui had the sun god wrapped around her little finger and she became his whole world.

And honestly...Tsukito was starting to miss the sun god's presence in his life a bit. He initially had no interest in getting involved with him, but in all that time Apollon desperately attempted to befriend him, he actually became quite fond of him. But now that most of Apollon's attention is centered solely on Yui, Tsukito was just now realizing that he was feeling a little neglected.

The indifference he felt towards Kusanagi Yui quickly turned into...something else. He couldn't quite pinpoint it at first. She wasn't a bad person and she's been nothing but kind to him. He knew he had absolutely no reason to feel this...animosity towards her. But he did and he didn't know why.

Tsukito later learned what this new emotion was: envy.

But there was something else too. Every time he saw them together, he found himself feeling a sort of longing...a yearning. He wonders what it would be like to be snugly wrapped up in the warmth of Apollon's embrace. He sometimes would imagine those green eyes looking upon him the same way as they did Yui.

The thought made his chest tighten. Like there was something gripping at his heart and refusing to let go. It ached to the point that it sometimes became unbearable with every passing day. But Tsukito wasn't one to complain, so all he could do about it is pretend for them. Pretend that their relationship didn't bother him. Pretend to be supportive of them. Pretend that he didn't feel anything when he saw them so happy together.

This new emotion...he'll need some time to figure it out. But for now, he could only continue to imagine and pretend.

It's the least he can do for them.

* * *

"Tsuki-Tsuki!"

Tsukito looked up from his desk to be met with the sun god's bright beaming smile. As much as he wanted to, he just couldn't get mad at that face. Tsukito stared up at Apollon for a moment, silently letting him know he was listening.

"I need your help with something. I really need your help."

"It depends on what it is but I'll try my best." Tsukito replied.

"I want to give a gift to Fairy for our one month anniversary, but I can't figure out what she'd like."

Tsukito let out a sigh. Of course he should've expected this. "...what makes you think I can help you with that?"

Apollon slapped his hands against Tsukito's desk with a loud bang, "Please? Pretty please? I tried asking the others, but they kept giving me weird ideas." He begged, "You're like, one of my best friends. I figured you'd at least suggest something sensible."

Tsukito thought for a moment, "You are the god of the arts, aren't you? You could make something for her. A song, perhaps?"

Apollon's eyes widened at the realization, "Of course! Why didn't I think of that?"

"You tend to let things go over your head, Apollon Agana Belea." Tsukito replied bluntly.

"Tsuki-Tsuki, that's mean. That's so mean!" Apollon whines with a pout.

"I don't necessarily mean that like it's a bad thing though."

Apollon laughs, "But it's great. At least you're honest. That's what I like about you, Tsuki-Tsuki."

Tsukito felt his heart flutter just a bit. He looks off to the side to avoid Apollon's gaze, "It's nothing, really..."

"But anyway, I would still need to figure out what to write for her...what if she doesn't like it?"

"I'm sure you can do it. I'd expect nothing less from the god of music."

Apollon's eyes sparkled at the compliment, "Oh Tsuki-Tsuki, thank you, thank you! You're the best!"

Tsukito was starting to think that the sun god's excitement was contagious, as he couldn't stop himself from cracking a small smile. Unfortunately, that was short lived as a high-pitched voice called out, "Apollon-san!"

Apollon immediately turned his attention away from Tsukito, "Ah, Fairy!"

Tsukito's body tensed up as Yui practically bounced over to Apollon, greeting him with a kiss on the cheek. His mind screamed at him to get up and leave right this instant. But somehow, he couldn't just will himself to do so.

"Huh? What are you two up to?" Yui asked.

Apollon places a finger over his lips, giving her a wink, "It's a surprise."

Yui responds with a small laugh, "Now that just makes me even more curious. Just a hint maybe?"

"Nope, not telling you. Not telling just yet." Apollon refuses in a teasing tone.

"Apollon-saaan~" Yui playfully smacks him on the shoulder, which made the sun god giggle in response.

"Never mind that; did you need anything?"

"Ah, yes!" Yui reached into her pockets, briefly digging through them, "I wanted to do something special for our one month anniversary, so I made you something." Her face flushes a faint pink as she presents Apollon with a small, carefully wrapped box, "I...I hope you'll accept it."

"Aww, thank you! Thank you so much, Fairy!" Apollon practically squealed in delight, bouncing about childishly. He wrapped his arms around Yui's waist and lifted her off the ground. In response, Yui pulled Apollon into a gentle, but loving kiss. They were in their own little world again and Tsukito was once again being ignored.

"Anii!" Takeru calls from the doorway. Tsukito sighs in relief and takes this as his cue to leave. He's decided he's had all he can handle of this couple for one day. He quickly packs his books in his bag before joining his brother in the hall.

"Those two seem to be really into each other." Takeru muttered, gesturing towards the couple.

Tsukito glances at the window as he walked through the hallway, letting out a wistful sigh, "Yes, I know."

* * *

"Anii, are you sure you want to go moon-gazing tonight?" Takeru asked as Tsukito made his way out of the dorms.

The moon god pauses in the doorway, "Why would you ask that? Of course I do."

"I don't know. You're looking a little pale. Maybe you should stay inside and get a proper night's sleep for once?"

"I assure you, Totsuka Takeru, I feel perfectly fine. I am going to do my duty."

"Okay, Anii, whatever you say." Takeru waves his hand to send his brother off, "Good night."

"Good night." Tsukito replied before making his way outside.

He sat in the school's courtyard with Usamaro curled up comfortably in his lap. His eyes were completely transfixed on the moon's pale glow as he tuned out his surroundings. Here, he could just forget everything, even if it was for a little while. He didn't have to think or feel anything.

Well, at the moment he was feeling something and it didn't feel too pleasant. Maybe he should've listened to Takeru and stayed inside. His chest suddenly hurt; suddenly everything hurts. His throat especially hurts. He could feel this insatiable burning sensation, like he'd been wandering a desert for years.

Tsukito suddenly burst into violent coughing fit. He struggled to breathe in between coughs but they came in such rapid successions, he was just gasping and wheezing desperately for air. Something lodged itself in his throat, further inhibiting his ability to breathe.

He quickly clasped his hands over his mouth, now realizing whatever was stuck in this throat was coming up. A rusty, metallic taste filled his mouth as the coughing racked his entire body.

The burning sensation had finally subsided after what seemed like an eternity. Tsukito steadied his breathing little by little, finally feeling the relief of a fresh breath of air. He pulled his hands away to check whatever damage had been done. His palms and fingers were covered in blood. He could only guess it was all over his face too, judging from the unpleasant sticky feeling around his mouth.

His eyes widened in astonishment when he saw that it was not only blood he has coughed up. There, cupped in his hands, were three tiny blossoms, a pale purple very reminiscent of Tsukito's own hair, but they were stained red with his blood.

Confusion made all kinds of thoughts run through Tsukito's mind. Why was this happening? Was he ill? Where did the flowers come from? Did he accidentally swallow flowers at some point?

He shakes his head, clearing it of those thoughts. He'll look into it later, but for now, his job comes first. He continues with his duty for the rest of the night as usual then returns to the dorm. He makes sure to clean himself up as he knew Takeru would immediately fuss over him at the sight of a single drop of blood. Then he quietly crept into his futon to try and catch whatever sleep he can before dawn.

The next morning he found those same tiny flowers scattered all over his pillow.

 _Lilac - First emotions of love_

* * *

Tsukito spent the earliest hours of the morning in the library, researching everything he could about his new condition. Books piled up on his table, all about every human ailment ever recorded. But even after hours of skimming through books and taking notes, none of it matched up with any of his symptoms.

Deciding to give up for now, he puts the books back on the shelves where they belonged and began to pack his bag for class. Just as he was about to put his pen away, he hears giggling from the other side of the library. Yui was sitting at another one of the tables while Apollon was next to her, his head resting on her shoulder.

"Come on, Apollon-san, we have to get to class." Yui gently chides him, nudging Apollon off of her.

Apollon snakes his arms around Yui's waist, "Don't wanna. I'm sleepy."

"Well, that tends to happen when you sneak into my room late at night."

Tsukito's grip on his pen tightened as he watched Apollon shower Yui's face with kisses, eliciting a delighted squeal from the girl.

Tsukito quietly left the library without the couple noticing that he was even there. For some reason, it seemed like they were following him everywhere. This really shouldn't bother him, but yet there was something just so irritating about it. It felt like they were rubbing it in his face, tormenting him.

He briskly walked to class, trying to force himself to think about something else.

He stopped in his tracks and clutched his chest. That ache was back and soon after, his throat started burning again. He leaned against the wall has he started intensely coughing again. Blood and saliva dripped down his chin as delicate indigo flower petals came up from his throat and fell out of his mouth.

"Anii!" He heard Takeru's voice call out to him.

The sea god rushed to his brother's side, clutching his shoulders to support him. He watched in horror as Tsukito hacked up blood and flower petals, making a small puddle on the marble floor.

When the coughing finally subsided, Tsukito took a few moments to catch his breath, "Totsuka Takeru, release me. I need to get to class."

"Hell no, you're not going to class like this." Takeru drapes an arm around his brother's shoulders, "Come on, let's get you to the infirmary."

Tsukito let Takeru escort him without much protest. He began coughing again as soon as they entered the infirmary, much to Takeru's worry. Quickly, Takeru sat him down on one of the beds and grabbed the small waste bin in the corner. He held it under Tsukito's face as he rubbed his back. When Tsukito was finally done coughing up all he could, Takeru wiped up all the blood from his hands and mouth and then gave him some cough medicine for good measure.

"If you were sick, you could've told me, you know." Takeru said, "You really had me worried."

Tsukito bowed his head, "I apologize."

"Also, did this just...come out of you?" Takeru asked, gingerly picking up one of the flower petals, "What even is happening you?"

"I don't know. I've been like this since last night."

"Last night?! I told you you shouldn't have gone out moon-gazing. You really need to take care of yourself better, Anii."

"It's nothing serious. Please try not to worry about me too much, Totsuka Takeru."

"Uhh, you're coughing up blood and flowers, I think I have every right to be worried."

"Please, I do not want to cause any unnecessary panic. Do not tell the others. That's all I ask."

"I..." Takeru began to protest, but just seeing the pleading look in his brother's eyes, he just couldn't say no to him. In the end, he let out a sigh of defeat. "Fine."

 _Crane's bill - Envy_

* * *

Student council meetings are the worst. Tsukito used to enjoy them quite a bit. He liked the feeling of being productive and getting work done.

But that was more than a month ago. But now he feels like he can't get anything done because of a certain couple deciding that this was an appropriate time to display their affection. Now it feels like the other two members have to pull twice their weight just to get everything done.

They were supposed to be discussing any future events before graduation, but...so far they hadn't come up with anything due to some...distractions. Apollon and Yui sat so alarmingly close to each other on the sofa, Yui might as well have sitting in Apollon's lap.

Balder let out a sigh, probably just as tired of these two as Tsukito is. "You two, I know you love each other very much, but can you please keep your hands off of each other for at least an hour and a half?"

Apollon wraps his arms around Yui, tightly snuggling her, "How can I? My love is so cute, I can't help myself!"

Finally, Tsukito decides he has had enough. Might as well take matters into his own hands. "If you're not going to contribute, then you can just leave." He said, "And don't bother coming back."

Apollon and Yui looked at him, both of them taken aback by Tsukito's sudden coldness. It was then Tsukito realized that his words came out more harsher than he intended. But it seemed to get the point across as they finally pried themselves off of each other and distanced themselves. In the end, it really didn't matter.

Balder spares Tsukito a glance, nodding his head in a silent thank you. "Now, where were we?"

Yui was quick to get back into the meeting, like Apollon wasn't just clinging to her just seconds ago. "Oh yes, we were thinking about what our next event should be."

Balder's hand shot up immediately, "I have an idea!"

"For that last time, Bal-Bal, we are not doing the meat festival." Apollon said.

Balder slowly lowered his hand, looking dejected as his suggestion as immediately shot down.

"Hmm, why don't we go on a beach trip?" Yui suggested.

"Didn't we already went?" Tsukito asked.

"Yeah, but then Zeus changed the season and ruined it. We might as well go while we can!" Apollon said, "Oh, we can have a bonfire or a barbecue and then we can have a slumber party in the cabin!"

Yui looks up at her boyfriend, eyes sparkling in pure adoration. It was subtle, but it didn't go unnoticed by the moon god. "Apollon-san, you were thinking the same thing?"

"Ahhh, it's like we were meant to be, Fairy!" Apollon once again pulled Yui into a tight embrace, nuzzling his face into her hair.

Now it was Balder's turn to get annoyed. He quietly got up from his seat and went over to the couple. He grabbed Apollon and roughly yanked him off of Yui, all with a gentle smile on his face. The tranquil fury coming off the god of light sent chills down their spines.

"Agana Belea, if Yui-san and you are that big of a distraction to each other, Totsuka-san and I will gladly fill both of your positions in the student council." Balder tightens his grip on Apollon's shoulder, making the sun god noticeably wince. "So I highly suggest you two behave yourselves if you want to keep your jobs as president and vice-president."

The couple behaved themselves for the rest of the meeting.

* * *

The meeting had ended without much problem. They decided to make the preparations all of tomorrow and they leave first thing in the morning the next day. Tsukito could trust Balder to do his part and of course he should expect himself to make the preparations more than perfect. He can't say the same for Apollon and Yui, though, so all he could do was hope that they weren't too caught up in each other to not hinder the trip.

Tsukito put away all the materials and meticulously dusted every inch of the room until it was practically spotless. Now all that's left is to sweep the floors and call it a day. Balder had been dragged away by Loki and Apollon and Yui left together, so it was Tsukito left to do the cleaning.

He was just beginning to sweep when a voice say, "Let me help."

Tsukito glances towards the doorway, seeing Yui had returned. He shook his head, "No need. I can handle this." he declined.

Yui smiled sweetly as she grabbed a broom from the closet, "It'll be much faster if we work together. Besides, I feel bad after Apollon-san and I disrupted the meeting."

Tsukito doesn't protest after that. They swept the room without exchanging a single word. Though, it kind of irritated him that Yui seemed to be treating this as a one time incident. They've been like this at every meeting every since they got together! Were they not aware that they were always doing this?

In the end, Tsukito boiled that thought to: they're too in love with each other to even care.

"Tsukito-san...what do you think of me?" Yui suddenly piped up.

"What do you mean?" Tsukito asked.

"I don't know...I feel like lately, it seems like you hate me."

Tsukito pauses his sweeping immediately. He stays silent for a moment, trying to come up with an answer. Finally, he responded, "...I have no such feelings."

An uneasy feeling settled in his gut. He wasn't sure if that was entirely the truth, but he did not want to cause any unnecessary conflict. If anything, that answer was to spare Yui's feelings in the end.

Yui let out a sigh of relief, "Oh good! I don't know why I was worrying so much." She said, "I will admit though, I know we're not exactly subtle with our displays of affection." She laughs softly at the thought, "Apollon-san can be a bit clingy, so you'll have to forgive him."

"Mmhmm." Tsukito simply nods in response.

Yui keeps on rambling, "I mean, I know you're one of Apollon-san's closest friends here, I really want us to get along. Especially because we'll be graduating together soon."

Suddenly, Yui took Tsukito by the hand. The moon god found himself staring back at her warm brown eyes, full of the same genuine kindness she's always shown ever since they first met. And yet, a small part of him wanted to pull away, reject her, curse her for taking his friend away and keeping him for herself. But he felt that it was best he held his tongue. This was not the time to express what he truly felt. Not unless he wanted to ruin his friendly relationship with Yui and by extension, his friendship with Apollon, who would no doubt come to his girlfriend's defense.

"Tsukito-san, let's work hard to make sure the beach trip is a success!"

"Yes." Tsukito agreed, hoping she would leave the conversation at that. If they had spoke any more, he would have found it increasingly difficult to suppress his real thoughts

The two of them were alerted by the sound of the door creaking open. "Ah, Fairy, so this is where you've been!"

"Sorry, I felt bad about leaving Tsukito-san to do all the work."

"Ah, do you need any more help? Do you?" Apollon asked.

Yui shook her head, "We're pretty much done."

"Oh great! That's great! That means we can spend some free time together now!" Apollon

"So what do you want to do today, Fairy? Maybe a picnic? Or maybe we can just have tea together!"

Yui smiled sweetly, idly rocking on her heels, "I don't know. I'll be happy with whatever it is. I just like being with you."

Apollon took Yui by the hands and pulled her closer, stroking her hair while whispering sweet nothings into her ears. The girl sighed in contentment, smiling softly.

Tsukito doesn't understand how they could be so shamelessly affectionate when he was in the same room as them. It was like they were taking every moment they could to announce their love to the whole world, which seemed useless at this point. They've made it very clear for the past month, everybody doesn't need another reminder. Tsukito certainly didn't need it.

Just thinking about it made his stomach lurch. A dull pain shot through Tsukito's head. He staggered on his weakening legs in an effort to stay standing. The burning fire in his chest began creeping up in his throat with every passing second.

"Excuse me." Tsukito rushed out of the room, shoving Apollon and Yui out of his way.

"Tsukito-san?"

He ignored her calls and kept going. He desperately tried to suppress the urge to cough until he made it outside to the back of the building, where he was sure no one would be around to see.

He bent over and coughed and coughed as small funnel-shaped flowers of various shades of pinks and purples fell soundlessly to the ground. He let out a choked sob as he spit up the last of the flowers. He found himself deprived of the energy to move, but his body couldn't stop trembling and he didn't know why. He didn't know why this was happening to him or why he was feeling this way.

 _Petunia - resentment, anger_

* * *

Compared to the seaside school, this trip to the beach was much more pleasant this time around. Everyone was quite lively and looking forward to the trip. And also there was significantly less complaining. Even the scorching summer sun did not seem to faze anyone.

Tsukito tried to enjoy this trip. He really was, but he found himself constantly glancing over at Yui and Apollon's intertwined hands as they walked. Only Takeru's rambling kept him from losing his composure.

Once they finally reached the ocean, there was no hesitation in clothes getting off. It was like they at least wanted to get some time to swim before Zeus decided to mess with them again. But it seemed that he decided to leave them alone and let them have their fun this time around. As the day went on, it still was bright and sunny with not a single cloud in sight.

Tsukito sat quietly on the sand and watched the scene before him. Takeru had joined a game of volleyball with Hades and the Norse gods.

"Tsuki-Tsuki!" He heard the sun god call out to him.

"Yes?"

"Why don't you join Fairy and I for a swim?" Apollon asked, "Surely, you didn't come all the way here to do nothing, did you? Did you?"

Tsukito blankly stares up at Apollon, "The last time I swam with you, I nearly froze to death. I'd rather not have a repeat of that experience."

"Tsuki-Tsuki, you're really never gonna let that go, are you?" Apollon laughs, "As student council president, I order you to have as much fun as you can on this trip."

"Well, since it's a direct order, I suppose I can't refuse."

"That's more like it." Apollon offered his hand to the moon god. Tsukito hesitantly reached for it and as soon as he did, Apollon gripped his hand tight and pulled him up. That brief moment of contact made Tsukito's stomach flutter.

Just as Tsukito managed to stand up, he heard Takeru call out to him. He felt his brother pulling him by the arm.

"Come on, why don't you play volleyball with us? We need another player."

Tsukito glances at Takeru, then Apollon. He considered his options for a moment before deciding volleyball was much more preferable than eventually becoming the third wheel to Apollon and Yui.

"Very well, I will join you." Tsukito told Takeru.

"Oh well, you two have fun now. Have lots of fun, okay?" Apollon looks towards the ground, feeling dejected.

"Apollon-san!" Yui calls out from far away, frantically waving her hands.

"Coming!" The sun god perks up right away and wasted no time running towards his love.

Tsukito turns his attention to the game at hand, hoping to distract himself. He discovered he wasn't very good at it, to say the least. But still, he found himself enjoying it quite a bit.

A shriek piercing the air caught his attention. He pauses and looks over in the direction of the ocean. Apollon was waist-deep in the water, carrying Yui in his arms. Yui kept screaming and laughing as Apollon tipped her dangerously close to the water. All her begging was futile as Apollon playfully drops her into the water. Yui emerges not long after and began splashing water at her boyfriend in retaliation. Apollon then clung to her, jokingly begging her for forgiveness. Yui laughs and kisses him in response.

Tsukito's lips pressed together in a thin line as he watched them. He did not know what compelled him to do it but he hurled the volleyball as hard as his skinny arms would allow him to. He watched it soar over to the ocean straight towards the couple.

Yui was the first one to notice it. "Watch out!" She gasped.

Apollon turned around just in time to see the ball flying their way. Quickly, he shoved Yui aside before the volleyball hit him square in the face. The sun god stood there just stunned as the volleyball fell into the water with a weak splash.

"Oh, sorry. My hands slipped." Tsukito said cooly with no hint of apology in his voice. A feeling of satisfaction bubbled in his gut for some reason. Who knew being petty could feel this satisfying?

"Tsukito-san, please be careful next time!" Yui said, clearly not sensing Tsukito's insincerity.

After that, Tsukito found himself able to enjoy the rest of the day just a bit more.

The sun was beginning to set under the horizon. As Tsukito changed back into his school uniform, he could feel the all too familiar burn in his chest creep up on him. He felt his panic escalate. Now, out of all times, it chooses to some back. Tsukito tried to think of a way to sneak off without anyone noticing. That last thing he wanted was to ruin the trip by getting sick.

"Who's going to gather firewood for the bonfire?" Balder asked.

Tsukito immediately volunteered. "I'll do it."

"Do you need any help?" Apollon asked.

"I'll be fine." Tsukito brushed him off. He quickly disappeared into the woods, until he was sure no one would find him.

He fell to his knees, clutching his stomach as yellow petals burst out of his mouth with every cough. It was endless agony. The floral taste combined with blood was absolutely revolting. He breathes in heavy gulps of air as he coughed up the remaining petals, his lungs rejoicing at the moment of respite.

He wipes the blood from his mouth as he regulates his breathing again. Tsukito hears footsteps approaching and he just then remembers what he was supposed to be doing. Thinking quickly, he reaches for twigs lying on the ground nearby.

"Tsuki-Tsuki!"

Tsukito looks in the direction of the voice to see a head of golden blond hair. He stomps the petals under his boots and kicked the dirt to hide the evidence.

"What are you doing?"

"I was gathering firewood like I was asked."

Apollon eyed the bundle of twigs Tsukito held, "You only managed to get that much? Tsuki-Tsuki, we want to make a big bonfire. A huge bonfire!"

"What are you doing here, then?"

"You were taking a while so I got a little worried." Apollon said. He held a small axe in his hand, "Good thing I brought this."

Tsukito takes the axe from Apollon, "Thank you."

"Here, let me help. Let me help, okay?"

Apollon took Tsukito by the hand and led him through the forest. Tsukito could feel his face begin to flush slightly as the warmth radiating from Apollon's hand seemed to spread out through Tsukito's whole body. It felt like Tsukito's long, slender fingers fit the spaces between Apollon's so nicely. Tsukito impulsively tightened his grip on the sun god's hand, trying to relish in this feeling before it was over.

"Here! This one seems good!" Apollon said, pointing to a tall tree with a skinny trunk. "Should I cut it down or do you want to do it?"

"I'll do it." Tsukito approached the tree with the axe in hand. With all his might, he swung the axe into the trunk to the tree and kept repeating the action with the same effort and intensity. He was just so focused on the task at hand that he just sort of blanked out for a moment. He was out of breath by the time he had trunk hanging on by a sliver. Tsukito threw the axe on the ground and kicked the tree as hard as he could to tip it over.

Apollon couldn't help but stare, mouth wide open in astonishment. "Wow, Tsuki-Tsuki, I didn't think you'd be so strong."

"You'd be surprised." Tsukito said, breathing heavily.

"No, I think it's more like...you have a lot of pent-up rage. And you took it all out on that poor tree." Apollon laughs, "It's good, it's good, though. I suppose you would have to let all out to be as calm as you always are."

Tsukito just shrugs in response, "I guess."

He notices Apollon's eyes widened slightly, like something had caught his attention. "Tsuki-Tsuki, stay still. Stay still, please."

Apollon leaned in close so that their faces were almost touching. Tsukito could feel his heart pounding in his chest. He instinctively squeezed his eyes shut, hoping Apollon wouldn't notice anything. He then felt a slight movement in his hair.

"There was a flower petal in your hair." Apollon presents Tsukito with a flower petal that was the same pale yellow as the ones he had just coughed up.

In his panic, Tsukito quickly slapped the petal away from Apollon's hands.

The sun god stared at Tsukito, wide-eyed in shock, "Are...are you okay?"

"I'm fine...let's just hurry up with this." Tsukito turns his attention back for the fallen tree he had just cut down. After (rather brutally) chopping it up into manageable logs, they gathered up the firewood and headed back towards the beach.

 _Yellow Rose - Friendship, Jealousy_

* * *

Soon they were all sitting around the crackling bonfire, chattering and laughing away. Marshmallows and crackers were passed around, while Dionysus provided the alcohol.

The gods all started sharing all kinds of stories about their lives back home. Tsukito tuned most of it out. Maybe he heard something about Loki getting impregnated by a horse a long time ago? He didn't know why the Norse god felt the need to share that, but he certainly didn't need that information.

Tsukito stared blankly at his marshmallow, which was reduced to looking like a charred meteor as he let it sit in the open flame. In the end, he just discarded it into the fire. He had no appetite to eat it anyway.

"Hey, who wants to hear a song? Who wants to hear?" Apollon suddenly piped up. "I read that humans sing songs while gathered around the fire like this."

"Are you sure you didn't want an excuse to show off?" Loki asked in a teasing tone.

"Loki-Loki, how mean!"

"Well, why not? I'd be happy to listen." Yui chimed in.

Loki rolled his eyes, "Of course you would be, he's your boyfriend."

Apollon reached into his bag and pulled out his beloved golden lyre.

"Seriously, I can't believe you managed to fit that thing in there." Dionysus said with amusement and disbelief.

"Honestly, me too. You made me pack ten bottles of wine, after all." Apollon shot back, which made everyone in close proximity laugh. "Anyway, any requests?"

"Anything is fine." Yui said. The others agreed.

"Alright, here it goes." Apollon took a deep breath and began plucking at the strings of his lyre. His fingers skillfully moved along the strings as a beautiful tune spilled from them. Apollon's voice soon accompanied the lyre, his voice smooth and silvery. Tsukito couldn't quite understand what he was singing, but he couldn't help but be completely enamored by every single note. His heart swelled in his chest the more he listened. Tsukito closed his eyes and let the velvety sound of Apollon's voice envelop him. He was completely lost in it and nothing else mattered.

Applause broke out as Apollon finished his performance, bringing Tsukito back from his reverie.

"Yui-san, you're so lucky...I bet Agana Belea serenades to you everyday." Balder said.

Yui laughs, a faint blush spreading across her face, "Well, not everyday."

"I could, if that's what you wanted, Fairy."

"Apollon-san, you're too much." Yui burst out into a fit of giggles, playfully hitting Apollon on the chest.

Just then, Tsukito abruptly stood up. The others immediately turned their attention to him.

"Tsuki-Tsuki, is here something wrong?"

"I'm just going to the bathroom." Tsukito turns in his heel and made his way towards the cabin nearby with a noticeable sense of urgency in his strides.

"Is he okay? He's been acting strange ever since this morning." Yui said, "I'm getting a little worried."

"Takeru, did something happen?" Hades asked.

Takeru looks off in the direction Tsukito went, concern painting his features. He knows there was something more to his brother than just coughing up flower petals...

"I don't know, he isn't telling me anything."

* * *

Tsukito was bent over the sink, rose petals continuously spilled from his mouth with cough after cough. The petals this time were a deep, vibrant red. He couldn't even tell what was blood and what was rose petals.

Relief washed over him as the burning sensation in his throat finally died down, but the ache in his chest remained. His body couldn't stop shaking so much, he had to grip the sink top to keep himself standing. He didn't dare look up at the mirror as his eyes were completely fixed on the flower petals his body had just expelled. He could feel his eyes begin to water and he was helpless to stop the tears from joining the blood and petals in the sink.

Tsukito has thought about it for a while, but now he understood. This feeling he felt towards the Greek sun god. The more he stared at these crimson petals in the sink, it became more clear to him. It was red and pulsing in his chest like a mighty drum.

And it was a crushing reminder of something he'll never have.

 _Red rose - Love_

* * *

 **This originally was gonna be one long oneshot, but 15k words in I realized that might be a little too ambitious and also, who the fuck is gonna read all of this in one go?**


	2. Bud

**Hello naughty children, it's suffering time**

* * *

Tsukito was taking an awfully long time. The bonfire had already been put out and he still hadn't come back from the bathroom. As quietly he could, he crept away without being noticed and headed towards the cabin. He could still see the light was on in the bathroom so Tsukito was definitely still in there.

He gently rapped his knuckles against the door, "Anii, you good in there?" He asked in a hushed tone. "It's me. Let me in."

He twists the knob, surprised to see it wasn't locked. Takeru gently pried the door open and slipped inside.

"Holy shit, are you okay?"

Judging from the blood and rose petals in the sink, Takeru felt that was a bit of a stupid question. But the thing that alarmed him the most was that his brother was crying...actually crying over the sink.

Takeru gently put a hand on Tsukito's shoulder, feeling him flinch slightly at his touch. "Anii, what's wrong?"

"I love him."

"Love...? Love who?" Takeru asked.

"I love...I love Apollon Agana Belea."

Takeru raised an eyebrow, "You gotta be more specific. Like, do you...love him as a friend or...?"

"No." Tsukito shook his head, "I want him to hold me and kiss me. I want him to look at me...like he does with Kusanagi Yui."

"Oh..." Takeru pauses for a moment to let this sink in. It was then he realized what this meant for Tsukito. "Oh no, Anii, I'm so sorry..." He carefully wrapped his arms around Tsukito like he was made of glass. Takeru just felt so utterly helpless as his brother sobbed quietly into his chest. It wasn't like Tsukito to get so emotional like this and Takeru just didn't know how to handle it. He doesn't even know what was happening to his brother!

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, "Takeru, are you in there?" Hades' muffled voice asked from the other side.

Alarmed, Tsukito quickly jumped up and turned on the sink to wash the evidence down the drain.

"Are you sure you don't want to tell the others?"

"About my illness? Or my feelings for Apollon Agana Belea."

"I don't know, both?"

"I've said before, Totsuka Takeru, I do not want to cause any unnecessary conflict. They're better off not knowing."

"But why? Why are you so insistent in hiding this from them? Aren't they your friends?" Takeru asked, "I would think you would trust them with something this big by now."

"We're going to be graduating soon. Once we return home, I'll go back to my duties and I'll forget about these feelings I have. So I'll just have to hold out until then."

"Ah damn, I really shouldn't be enabling this secretive behavior, but then again, you're not going to do as I say so...I don't know what to tell you."

"Don't tell me anything. Just act like everything is normal, alright?" Tsukito said, "This is just between us and nobody else, promise?"

This wasn't the first time Tsukito has asked him of this, but Takeru still found himself hesitating.

"Okay, fine. This is your problem and I trust you to handle it on your own. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"Thank you."

"But that doesn't mean I'm turning a blind eye completely. If anything, and I mean anything, happens to you, you know I'll come running."

"Of course, you would." Tsukito sighed. But he couldn't help but feel at ease a bit, knowing he can trust Takeru, even if it was just a little bit.

Takeru gently nudges Tsukito's arm with this fist, "I'm your brother, after all."

* * *

Hiding was easier said than done.

For some reason, it seemed like the illness acted up at the most inconvenient times. Countless classes, he's had to suddenly get up and run off somewhere to expel the flowers from his body, only to be greeted with a stern scolding by Thoth every time.

Tsukito still wasn't able to find answers for it no matter how much of the library's material he went through. Of course, if he didn't know what it was, then he doesn't know what the cure is. If there is one at all, that is.

But he did end up find a lot of material on botany. In a week of extensive research, he ended knowing a lot more about plants than he probably should, though, none of it said anything about plants somehow growing inside a living being, which raised more questions than answers.

But despite that, what he found especially fascinating is that humans have managed to attach all sorts of meanings to something as simple as flowers. But all of a sudden, something about this whole ordeal started to make sense to him. With every flower he coughed up, it represented an emotion.

He was _feeling_.

It was all so new to him and at first, he didn't know what to do with it. His heart has been empty for thousands of years as he was only concerned with his duty of watching the moon. But now that he's come to terms with his feelings for Apollon, it felt like he was seeing color for the first time, like feeling warmth for the first time. Yes, these emotions were painful, but at the same time he felt this overwhelming sense of euphoria.

It's really masochistic now that he thinks about it.

* * *

Apollon stared at the dark grey clouds looming over the academy. He was going to go out with Yui again today, but it seemed that Zeus had other ideas. He frowned as he watched the rain patter lightly against his window. It sucks to spend the day off confined to his room.

Among the gloomy grey scenery, the purple blur catches Apollon's eye. He opens the window, letting the rain and cold air into his room. "Tsuki-Tsuki!"

The moon god stops and blankly looks up at the open window.

"What are you doing?"

"Out for a walk."

"In the rain?" Apollon asked. "You're going to catch a cold! Come inside. Come!"

Tsukito just responds with a simple nod. Apollon closes the window and rushes downstairs to let the moon god inside.

"You're soaking wet, Tsuki-Tsuki!" Apollon gasps. The rain had soaked all the way through Tsukito's clothes that it was dripping all over the floor. "What were you thinking going out for a walk in the rain like that?"

"Totsuka Takeru does it."

"Just because he does it, doesn't mean you should." Apollon begins notice the moon god begin to shiver, "Come on, let's get you out of these wet clothes."

He brought Tsukito up to his room and then instructed him to take off his sopping wet clothes while he rummaged through his closet to find new ones.

Sneezes racked Tsukito's body as his bare skin made contact with the cold air.

"See? You really have to be careful." Apollon said as he draped a towel over Tsukito's head.

A warm, fuzzy feeling welled up in Tsukito's gut as Apollon wiped down his hair. His touch was just so gentle, it made the moon god's heart flutter.

Tsukito was so caught up in such a pleasant feeling, he subconsciously wrapped his arms around Apollon's waist, pressing himself against his chest.

The sun god sucked in a breath, alarmed by the sudden contact. "Tsuki-Tsuki?"

"You're very warm." Tsukito murmured, sounding completely relaxed.

Apollon was at a complete loss. He usually wouldn't mind something like this, but he doesn't quite know how to feel about it when his friend was standing naked in his room. In the end, Apollon remained completely still, allowing Tsukito to warm himself up.

"Are...are you warm enough now?" Apollon finally summed up the courage to ask, the awkward tension becoming too much for him to bear.

Tsukito nodded, but really, he was reluctant to let go. It wasn't until Apollon gently pushed him away.

"A-anyway, you can borrow my clothes. You can borrow them." The sun god shoves the clothes into Tsukito's arms, turning his face away to hide his faint blush.

"Thank you." Tsukito replied before slipping on the spare clothes he had been given. They were bit baggy on Tsukito's thin frame, but it was significantly better than a wet school uniform.

"I'm surprised. Kusanagi Yui isn't with you today." Tsukito said, taking a seat on Apollon's bed.

"Yeah, sadly. We were going to out again, but…" Apollon gestures to the window.

"If you don't mind me being nosy...are you happy with her?"

"Of course, I'm happy! I'm very happy with her!" Apollon exclaims without any hesitation.

"Then...what do you love about her?"

"Well, everything! I love everything about her!"

"That's not a very good answer."

"Why are you asking me this all of a sudden, Tsuki-Tsuki?" Apollon asked.

Tsukito shrugs indifferently, "I don't know….maybe I wanted to give you an excuse to talk about her."

The sun god thought for a moment, "Hmm….I love her strength and optimism. I love her gentle and honest heart. I love how cute she gets when she's flustered...and she saved me."

"Saved you?" Tsukito asked. "How?"

Apollon seemed hesitant for a moment, which made Tsukito think he was crossing a line he wasn't supposed to.

"I was destined to walk a path of destruction and despair and I couldn't graduate until I was able to change that future. She...she was the one who helped me change my future and I can't thank her enough...so that's why I want to spend my future with her." The sun god replied as he broke out into a huge grin.

Tsukito cast his eyes towards the floor to avoid eye contact with Apollon, "I...I see."

If he wasn't envious enough of Yui then, he certainly was now. She was everything Apollon could've ever dreamed of. She was the one who saved him.

"I was thinking...maybe I can bring her to Mount Olympus with me once we graduate."

Tsukito's eyes widened slightly in shock. Bringing a mortal to the realm of the gods was absolutely unheard of. And Apollon was perfectly willing to go against the natural order...all for Yui.

"But...do you honestly think that she'll willingly abandon her life in the human world like that?"

"Well, of course it's her decision in the end. I just thought...we don't have a lot of time left before we graduate and I want to stay with her always...this is the only way I can think of."

"Impossible. I'm sure Zeus Keraunos will not allow it." Tsukito stood and gathered his clothes, making his way towards the door, "And I certainly hope he doesn't."

With that, he slammed the door shut, leaving Apollon shocked and absolutely confused.

* * *

Tsukito sat on his futon, violently coughing again. He had let his jealousy rear its ugly head and now his body was punishing him for it. It was so intensely painful, even more so than before and when he finally managed to spit up one flower he could see why. He wasn't coughing up measly little petals or even smaller flowers anymore.

Pink flowers littered his futon. By the time he was done, his throat was raw from forcing up at least ten full-sized flowers, big enough to fit into the palm of his hand. Tsukito picked up one of them, inspecting it closely. The blush pink petals overlapped each other perfectly, layer after layer. These flowers had no noticeable fragrance, other than the faint rusty smell of blood.

After deciding he has enough of studying the flower, he gathers the rest and throws them out.

He lay on his futon, staring vacantly at the ceiling. He was...exhausted. He has too much on his mind and having another coughing attack really sapped his energy. He tried to fall asleep, but he just somehow couldn't.

He could blame that on Apollon's scent that lingered on the borrowed clothes he was wearing. It was warm and fresh, like summer rain. Tsukito pulled the collar up to his nose, breathing in deeply. It brought him comfort for a moment...but then he quickly started to get drunk on it. He let his mind wander, imagining that the sun god himself was here with him right now. He longed for Apollon's gentle touch.

His hands started moving on their own, trailing further down until they reached the growing bulge in his pants. He manages to free his arousal from its confines, but he was hesitant in touching it. He's never really done anything like this before, so he's only running on pure curiosity and experimentation.

Tsukito gasps quietly into the air as he slowly stroked himself. Shivers go down his spine as he leaves feather-light touches along his length. The scent on Apollon's clothes filled his senses like a foggy haze and he was gladly drowning in it. He could vividly see the sun god's image in his mind: his hair of sunshine gold, his captivating green eyes, his soft pink lips that Tsukito wanted to feel so badly against his. He could even imagine Apollon murmuring words of love into his ear like they were only meant for him.

He clasped his hand over his mouth, desperately trying to stifle his cries as he reached his climax.

Once he comes down from his high, Tsukito vacantly stared at the white sticky mess he made on his hand. He smiled bitterly to himself. He was horrible enough to fall in love with his friend, who already belonged to someone else. Now he's reached an all time low, masturbating to said friend's clothes. And he enjoyed it. Honestly, when did he get so pathetic? He should be ashamed.

Tsukito got up and went to soak in the bath until he felt clean again. He then changed into his own clothes, making a mental note to wash Apollon's very thoroughly before he returns them.

He was finally able to sleep, but he went still feeling disgusted with himself.

 _Pink Camellia - Longing_

* * *

He hadn't spoken to Apollon since then. How would he even explain himself after saying such a thing to him? Apollon clearly wasn't missing his company anyway, so did it even really matter?

Still, he shouldn't let this get in the way of everything else. He tried not to think about it by channeling all his focus into Thoth's lecture and taking notes faster than the speed of light.

Somewhere in the middle, he feels a tickle in his throat. He coughs. Only once. A single petal bursts out of his mouth.

Dread settled in his gut as Thoth stops writing on the board and turned to look at him. The Egyptian god says nothing before returning to his lesson.

But Tsukito knew that one cough was the start of many. He stood up from his chair, the scraping of the chair against the floor catching everyone's attention. But he didn't pay it any mind as he rushed out of the classroom.

He runs to the back of the school, which had ended up becoming his go-to place whenever he needed. He just hopes he can get over this quickly and go back to class without any fuss.

Unfortunately, this is was not the case.

"So that's why you've been walking out on my classes lately." Thoth said, standing over Tsukito's kneeling form, "And here I was thinking your delinquent brother was influencing you."

Tsukito couldn't think of anything to respond with other than, "I apologize."

But just his luck, the Egyptian god does not scold him. He probably decided he shouldn't do so for something Tsukito couldn't help. Instead Thoth just tells him. "Clean yourself up, then come see me."

* * *

Tsukito gently pried the large wooden doors of the library open. "Pardon the intrusion…"

The library was almost entirely empty, except for the Egyptian god that usually occupied it.

The table Thoth was sitting at was piled high with books. He looked up from the one he was currently reading to acknowledge the moon god's presence, making it very clear how irritated he was by it.

"I closed the library so we could talk privately, so you better be grateful."

"Thank you…?"

Thoth beckons Tsukito over and points to the chair across the table, "Sit."

"How long has this been happening?"

"A month….and three weeks I think." Tsukito answered.

"A month and three weeks, huh?" Thoth leans back in his seat, crossing his arms. "And you have absolutely no idea what's happening to you?"

Tsukito shook his head no.

"It's called the Hanahaki Disease."

"...Hanahaki?" Tsukito repeats. He finally has a sense of closure now that he has a name for it.

"Yes, it's an illness in which one coughs up flowers when they experience unrequited love."

"That sounds...rather odd. Where are the flowers coming from? Surely, they wouldn't have a way to grow inside my body."

"See, the flowers growing inside you are a physical manifestation of your feelings. They'll bloom in your chest cavity until they eventually block your airways and suffocate you."

A feeling of dread settled in Tsukito's gut. All this time...he had been slowly dying and didn't even realize it? "Is...is there a way to cure it?"

"One way is quite obviously simple: you need to have your feelings reciprocated." Thoth explained.

'Of course.' Tsukito thought. The object of his affections is so madly in love with another. He had no hope in curing his illness that way. "What's the other way?"

"Well, you could get the flowers surgically removed. It is in your best interest taking that option...you'll survive, but..."

"But?"

"The results of doing so vary. Best case scenario, you just lose the feelings of love towards the object of your affections. But there are frequent cases of having all emotions removed or even losing all memory of the person."

The easiest solution to save himself was to have the flowers removed. But to have the feelings disappear too? It just felt so wrong to him. What if it did remove all of his feelings? Would he just go back to being an emotionless doll? Because of this school...because of Yui...because of Apollon, he finally learned how to feel emotions; how to feel _love_. If the Egyptian god was right, then that would render his time here completely pointless. And most likely, he'd be the only one not being able to graduate and he would damn the other gods to remain in this miniature garden for all eternity.

Tsukito's hands trembled. His head was spinning. The world before his eyes seemed to blur together. He was terrified. He was absolutely sure that this is what genuine fear felt like.

"So what are you going to do?" The god of knowledge asked, pulling Tsukito back to reality.

"I'll...I'll think about it."

"Please do make a decision soon. Remember, if you leave it be long enough, you'll suffocate to death."

Tsukito stood up from his seat and bowed politely to his instructor. "Thank you. I feel much more informed now."

He makes his way towards the door to leave, but pauses in the doorway as Thoth asks him one last thing.

"It's that idiot student council president, isn't it?"

Tsukito turns his head towards him, unsure how to answer other than "...How did you know?"

"Have you forgotten, Imbecile? I am the god of knowledge after all, don't think I don't know what's going on with my students. The fact you've had these symptoms since those two lovebirds got together confirms it." Thoth said, "Honestly, those two are insufferable together."

Tsukito nods in response, "I agree."

* * *

The first person he tells is Takeru. Of course, he's the only person Tsukito could tell. He's the only other person who knows about his strange illness.

"So this is caused by unrequited love?"

"Yes."

"And it could be cured through surgery or having those feelings requited." Takeru said, "Have you just considered getting it removed then? It seems like the easiest solution."

"I've briefly considered it, but decided against it."

"Why not?! Wouldn't you feel much better not feeling this way?" Takeru asked, raising his voice slightly, "You could forget about Apollon and find someone else who would actually love you."

"That would probably mean I wouldn't feel at all." Tsukito replied, "Then my being in this academy would be pointless."

Takeru thought for a moment, "Then maybe we can find a way to sabotage their relationship and make Apollon fall for you."

"Absolutely not." Tsukito immediately rejects, "Totsuka Takeru, you mustn't meddle in other people's relationships."

"But, Anii, you're in love with him, aren't you? You refuse to get the surgery so this could be the only way save your life!"

"Yes, I do want Apollon Agana Belea to love me, but it doesn't feel right if I earned his love through sabotage."

"But you're literally dying, should it really even matter?"

"Totsuka Takeru, I know those two are very dear friends to you. Could you really bring yourself to do that to them?" Tsukito asked.

"I.." Takeru cast his eyes downward, "No, I guess not."

"Exactly."

"So what are you gonna do?" Takeru asked.

Tsukito doesn't answer, but the silence alone seemed to distress his brother even more. Takeru held onto Tsukito's shoulders with tears beginning to well up in his eyes. "Anii...come on, think about this. I don't want to lose you over something like this."

"I know...but I can't be selfish. If Apollon Agana Belea is really happy with Kusanagi Yui, then I have no right to get in the way of that."

"Maybe you should tell him, then."

"What do you mean?" Tsukito asked.

"Tell him...and everyone else about your illness. You don't even have to mention your feelings for Apollon. It might not change anything, but at least you'll get that off your chest." Takeru said, "It's not like you can keep hiding it forever, no matter how much you think you can."

* * *

 _"Maybe you should tell him."_

Takeru's words rang through Tsukito's head. In the end, maybe he was right. He really should've trusted his friends with something as important as this a long time ago, Apollon especially. He's made up his mind.

He anxiously made his way towards the Greeks' dormitory with an intricately decorated box of wagashi in hand. He could just go straight into it and say, "I have an illness and I might die." but he feels like that would probably not result in the best reaction. So instead, he decided to try creating a light-hearted atmosphere with snacks and tea before easing the sun god into the news.

The Greeks' dorm was awfully empty. Dionysus and Hades seemed to be gone, but does that mean Apollon was out too? He hopes he isn't. He spent all this time mentally preparing himself to confess everything to Apollon, only to have him not be here?

Tsukito quietly crept upstairs towards where Apollon's room was. He pauses. He definitely heard some movement, so clearly Apollon was indeed present. The door to Apollon's room was slightly ajar, just enough that one could easily peek inside the room.

He lifts his hand to knock on the door, only to hesitate when he heard voices coming from behind the door. Apollon wasn't alone. Going against his better judgement, Tsukito peered through the crack and regretted it immediately.

Clothes were scattered all over the floor leading up to the bed. Apollon was shirtless on top of Yui, who was in nothing but her bra and skirt, her panties pulled down to her ankles. Apollon reached around Yui's back to undo her bra before throwing it onto the floor with everything else.

"Apollon-san...Apollon-san..." Yui murmured, letting out uneven breathy moans of pleasure.

"Fairy, I love you." Apollon whispered to her before burying his face in her neck. "I love you so much."

Tsukito stood frozen in his spot as he watched Apollon slip his hand under Yui's skirt. His hands trembled so much that he dropped the box of wagashi on the floor, ruining the beautiful flower-shaped sweets. Every moan that came out of Yui...every whisper of "I love you", felt like another dagger in his heart. Unable to bear this sight any longer, he quickly left before the two lovers could notice they had a visitor.

Tsukito staggered through the halls of the dorm. He didn't know where he was going nor did he care. He just wanted to get away. He wished he hadn't seen that. He wanted to believe he didn't just see that but the image was burned into his mind. Apollon...the person he loved...the only person he's ever loved, passionately making love to someone else. It was as if it was some cruel reminder that Apollon's heart belonged to Yui. The one that made his heart flutter...and made him genuinely smile...it was Yui.

Tsukito couldn't bring the same happiness to Apollon. And that reality absolutely crushed him

Did he want to scream? Cry? He didn't know.

His chest ached, even more so than before. It felt like thorns ripping him up from the inside out. He could feel the flowers forcing their way up his throat. He couldn't breathe. He can't breathe.

"Totsuka-san? Did you need something?" He heard Balder's voice ask, sounding vaguely concerned.

Tsukito looked up to see Balder, Loki, and Thor all sitting around a table, looking like they were having a conversation before he showed up and interrupted it.

He briefly looks around, realizing he had wandered into the Norse gods' dormitory.

Tsukito shook his head, "No...I'll just le-" His sentence was cut off by a sudden bout of coughing. His already wobbly legs gave out and he fell to the floor. His chest heaved up and down, trying to dislodge whatever got caught in his throat this time. Blood splattered onto the hardwood floor as Tsukito spit up small round blooms of brilliant gold and orange.

He must've looked so pathetic, on his hands and knees, hacking up blood and flowers all over the floor in front of the Norse gods. So much for gently breaking the news to them.

"Totsuka-san?!" Balder immediately jumped up from his seat and rushed over to the moon god's side, Loki quickly following.

"Oi, hang in there!" The Norse god of fire shook Tsukito desperately.

Everything was a blur after that. He had collapsed onto the floor, his body convulsing as Loki and Balder were calling out to him, trying to keep him conscious.

"Thor, get him to the infirmary!" Balder yells in a panic.

Tsukito felt himself being lifted into Thor's arms, carried effortlessly like he was nothing. It was then he began to slip into cold, cold darkness.

 _Marigold - Despair_

* * *

 **Haha I'm a dick ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ**


	3. Bloom

**Me: *takes almost two months to update because I suck***

* * *

Tsukito slowly opened his eyes. The morning sun was practically blinding him.

He hated it.

He didn't have to look around to figure out where he was. The strong chemical smell in the air was nauseating to him.

That image of last night was still fresh on his mind, but he couldn't remember much after that.

"What did I tell you, Imbecile?" A familiar voice chided him. Tsukito glanced over to his right, seeing the Egyptian god seated at his bedside with a pile of books.

"What happened?"

"According to the Bimbo, you just walked into the Norse gods dormitory and started hacking up flowers all over the floor and then passed out." Thoth explained, "What were you even doing there anyway?"

The nausea in Tsukito's stomach worsened as the events of last night came back to him, "I...I had to get away."

"Get away from what?"

"Apollon Agana Belea and Kusanagi Yui...last night, they were…" Tsukito choked back his words, unable to get them out. He gripped the sheets so tightly, his knuckles turned white.

Fortunately, Tsukito didn't have to finish explaining as Thoth figured it out quickly. "You saw them?"

Tsukito can only respond with a nod.

"It must've acted up like that because that because you were under so much distress after seeing that."

The creaking of the doors caught Tsukito's attention. Takeru stood at the doorway, with the Norse gods, Hades, and Dionysus in tow.

"...Did you tell them?"

"I had to. You made them all worry." Thoth said, "You were going to tell them anyway, so why are you making a fuss?"

The Egyptian god stood up from his chair and makes his way towards the door, "Are you going to come in or not? You're all in my way."

Takeru makes a move first. He runs past Thoth and right to his brother's bedside. "Holy shit, Anii, are you okay?!" He has Tsukito's shoulders in an iron grip, shaking him vigorously like a ragdoll.

"Takeru, he won't be if you keep shaking him like that." Hades said.

The sea god stops immediately, "Sorry."

"You gave us quite a scare, Totsuka-san." Balder said, "Even Loki almost cried."

"I did not!" Loki huffs and crosses his arms, "Okay, fine I did a little."

"I apologize for worrying you all."

"Really Tsukito, you should've told us a long time ago." Hades gently chides the moon god.

Suddenly, the door burst open, startling everyone in the room, "Tsuki-Tsuki!"

All the air in Tsukito's lungs was knocked out of him as he found himself being tackled by a much heavier body. Tsukito's nausea worsened even more at the mere touch from the sun god. It sickened him that he's being touched by the same hands that touched _her_ last night.

"Tsuki-Tsuki, are you alright?! Are you? We heard about what happened to you last night."

Tsukito could barely utter any words as Apollon's arms were constricting the life out of him. Yui finally pried Apollon off him, much to his relief, "Apollon-san, give him some space. He's still recovering."

"But I was so worried!"

Tsukito grit his teeth as he stared up at the couple. He wished they would go away. Fortunately, Takeru seemed to pick up on that almost immediately.

"Hey, I think he needs some time alone, guys, Anii's still very disoriented, right?"

Tsukito nodded, silently thanking his brother for the excuse, "Yes...I think I could use some peace and quiet at this time. I apologize."

"It's okay, Tsukito-san, take all the time you need." Yui replied, smiling gently.

The other gods begin to make their way to class. Takeru stays behind a moment longer to make absolutely sure his brother would be fine without him, then heads to class with the others.

"Take-Take!"

Takeru stops and turns, his expression turning sour as he was faced with the two that got his brother into this mess in the first place. "What the hell do you want?"

Apollon and Yui seemed taken aback at the sudden hostility, but still, Yui spoke up. "If you don't mind us asking, what exactly is wrong with Tsukito-san?"

"You seriously don't know?"

"Thoth-sensei told us Tsuki-Tsuki was sick, but not what he was sick with."

Takeru let out an exasperated sigh. The Egyptian god conveniently left out the most important details and now he's the one that has to explain it. What a pain.

"It's something called Hanahaki Disease...I think. Basically he loves someone who doesn't love him back and he's coughing up flowers all over the damn place because of it."

"Such a thing exists?" Yui asked, eyes widened in shock.

Takeru gestures to the doors of the infirmary, "Apparently yes."

"Oh no, who could do such a thing to Tsuki-Tsuki? How could they not see what an amazing person he is?" Apollon asked.

The sea god sucked in a breath, trying so desperately to keep his composure. Oh, the irony was too much. "Yeah, I know. It really sucks for him doesn't it?" He says in the most sarcastic tone he could muster.

Like the idiot he is, Apollon did not pick up on it. "Whoever this person is, I'll find them and I'll kick their butt myself!"

Without missing a beat, Takeru replies, "What, you'll kick your own ass, then?"

Apollon's eyes widened in shock, "W-what? What does this have to do with me?" He asked.

"Oh, I don't know. Anii has a disease caused by unrequited love and I'm saying it's your fault. It's not that hard to piece two and two together, you dense motherfucker!"

With this, Takeru decides he's had enough of this idiot sun god and storms off to class.

Apollon and Yui stood in the hall, letting this realization sink in. The reason Tsukito was ill in the first place...was that he was in love with Apollon. The couple glanced at each other, opening their mouths but ended up not knowing what to say. They didn't know how to go about this new development. Do they go confront Tsukito directly? Or do they keep quiet and let Tsukito tell them out of his own volition?

"Hey, are you two going to attend class or not?"

The two looked up to see Thoth walking past them, on his way to class to teach.

"Thoth-sensei!" Apollon calls out before he could get too far.

Thoth stops and turns toward the sun god with an icy glare, "What is it, Idiot?"

"About Tsuki-Tsuki...uhm...with his illness, will be okay? Will he?" Apollon asked, "It'll go away, right?"

"If he doesn't treat it, he'll suffocate and die." Thoth replies bluntly.

The sun god sucked in a breath as his blood ran cold. "I...I can just heal him. I can heal him, right?"

The Egyptian god shook his head, "Sorry, but this is beyond what you can fix, even with your abilities."

"Then what can we do to help him?"

"Well, he has two options: one, to have his feelings returned which I highly doubt will happen anytime soon." Thoth said, glaring down as Apollon and Yui, "And two: I can ask Zeus to bring in Sekhmet or Isis so that they can surgically remove the infection, but…"

"But?"

"If he were to go through the surgery, he might not remember you afterwards. Or he won't even be able to feel emotion ever again."

"That's...that's awful." Yui said.

"Listen, I can only provide him the answers he needed and the options he has. I cannot do anything else to help him." Thoth said, "The decision rests with him...and by extension, you two."

"Us?" Apollon asked.

"You may choose to end your relationship here and reciprocate his feelings or leave him to his own devices."

"I've told you all I can. Now get to class." Thoth said before continuing on his way.

"So this Hanahaki Disease is brought on by unrequited love and is terminal unless the flowers are surgically removed or that the love is requited….but Tsukito-san refuses to get the surgery as it would remove his feelings as well." Yui said, "It would make sense since he would most likely regress to the way he was when he first came here. But the only other option is to have those feelings requited..." She pauses, "Maybe if..."

"Fairy, where are you going with this?" Apollon asked. His eyes widened as he slowly began to realize what his girlfriend could be suggesting, "No, no! I can't do that! You know I love you and only you."

"I know you do, Apollon-san. I really don't want to let you do this, but if there is a slim chance it'll save Tsukito-san, then I'll...I'll..." Her voice cracks before she could finish her sentence. After a moment of trying to hold back tears, she takes a deep breath so that she could finish her thought, "I'll allow it."

Apollon shook his head, "No...no! I won't do it! I definitely won't do it!"

"Look, I'm not going to force you. It's your decision in the end, but if you choose to go that route, I just want you to know that...you have my permission." Yui said, "It's just...this isn't fair! Why Tsukito-san? This whole time, he worked so hard to learn about the human heart...and he finally learned how to feel love...and this is what he gets?"

Apollon felt so utterly helpless as he watched his love break down in tears. He pulled her into his arms and gently stroked her hair. "We'll figure something out. We're not going to let Tsuki-Tsuki die like this."

But such an empty promise did nothing to alleviate the ache in his heart.

* * *

Tsukito was released from the infirmary a few days later and he attended class like nothing was wrong. He still interacted with the other gods as usual. The friendly atmosphere between them hasn't changed. But still, something seemed different. Lately, Tsukito seemed to notice the occasional concerned glances from his classmates. He knew they meant well, but their pity made him feel worse.

It was after a student council meeting where Apollon had witnessed Tsukito's suffering firsthand. The moon god had volunteered to clean up afterwards but he ended staying well into the evening. Worried, Apollon went back to check on him only to find him in the middle of a violent coughing fit. Tsukito was clutching his stomach as blood and flowers splattered all over the floor. The sight was absolutely horrifying...and it was all because of him. Tsukito was suffering because of him.

That reality hit Apollon like a bus and it was then he finally decided: as a friend, he was going to take responsibility. He really didn't like the sound of it, but if it was for Tsukito's sake, he will do it. At the very least, he had Yui's trust, so that eased a small bit of doubt in his mind.

One night, Apollon crept out of bed. He picked his clothes off the floor and slips them back on, trying to make as little noise as possible.

He hears a quiet groan accompanied by the bed creaking as Yui stirred. The girl slowly opened her eyes, blinking sleepily "Apollon-san, where are you going?"

"I..." Apollon pauses for a moment before he let out a sigh, "I'm going to pay Tsuki-Tsuki a visit."

Yui cast her eyes downward, smiling bitterly. "I see."

"Don't worry. No matter what happens, I'll always love you." Apollon leaned over to plant a kiss on Yui's forehead. "I know you care a lot about Tsuki-Tsuki. I do too. That's why we're trying to help him, right?"

Yui nods, her eyes still not meeting Apollon's, "Yeah." She turns toward the door just as Apollon was leaving, "Uhm...good luck."

The sun god turns his head to gaze at her one more, a gentle smile gracing his features. But despite that, Yui could see the reluctance in his eyes. The inner conflict between being faithful to his girlfriend or saving his friend's life.

But with something like this, they felt they had no choice but to put their own feelings aside. Their dear friend's life was on the line, after all.

* * *

Usamaro watches intently as Tsukito reached into a small paper bag and pulled out a treat. Tsukito lets Usamaro sniff it for a moment before throwing it across the room, watching his familiar skitter around for it.

He may have recovered enough to be released from the infirmary, but Takeru still banned him from carrying out his duties, in the event he becomes violently ill at any given moment. With that, it left him with nothing to do during the night other than watch Usamaro chase after treats.

Suddenly, he hears a knock on his door. When he goes to open it, he is greeted by the sun god's bright beaming smile.

"Hey, Tsuki-Tsuki!"

"Apollon Agana Belea, what are you doing here? It's late."

"Oh, you know, I just wanted to drop by." Apollon replied rather nonchalantly, "Can I come in? Can I?"

"...I suppose."

Apollon follows the moon god inside, neither of them exchanging words. Tsukito gestures to the table, inviting Apollon to sit down before he went into the kitchen to make tea.

Apollon absentmindedly drummed his fingers against the table. He was so intensely focused on the sound of the kettle screeching, but it did not help the numerous thoughts running through his head. Did he really want to do this? He could change his mind right here and leave. But despite those thoughts, Apollon stayed glued to his seat as Tsukito brought in the tea.

"Take-Take isn't here?" Apollon asked, hoping a conversation would make the mood less excruciatingly awkward.

"He went out stargazing with Hades Aidoneus." Tsukito stated simply as he poured tea for Apollon and himself.

"Oh, I see." Apollon laughs nervously, tightly clasping his sweaty palms together, "Uhm...How about you? How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine."

"No, I mean your illness. I'm talking about your illness." Apollon said.

Tsukito shrugs indifferently, "It comes and goes, I guess."

"Is it...is it because of me?"

Tsukito paused, mildly shocked at the question, "What do you mean?"

"Take-Take told me. You have this illness...because of me." Apollon asked, "If it comes from a one-sided love, then..."

Tsukito stared down his reflection in the teacup and absentmindedly tapped his fingers along the sides. The tension in the air seemed the grow thicker with every moment of silence. He's made it this far opening up to Apollon about his illness, there's no point in hiding this anymore. He let out a deep breath and finally answered, "Yes."

"Since when?"

"Since you got together with Kusanagi Yui. Maybe a little while before that? I'm not too sure." Tsukito replied, "Do not misunderstand me, though, I have no intention of interfering with your relationship."

"Even though there's a possibility you might die?"

Tsukito's lips tightened into a thin line. His eyes darted around the room as he tried to come up with an answer, but then eventually decided that his feelings were too complex to describe with simple words. "So, did you need me for something? Surely, you came for a reason."

Apollon suddenly shot up from his seat, just now remembering what he came for. "Tsuki-Tsuki. Come with me."

He pulled the moon god by the wrist and took him upstairs to his bedroom, shutting them both inside.

"It's convenient that Take-Take isn't here…" Apollon said as he began unbuttoning his shirt, "Tsuki-Tsuki, I have an offer to make."

"What is it?"

The sun god hesitates for a moment before taking a deep breath, "...Myself. I would like to offer myself to you."

"What do you mean?"

"Tsuki-Tsuki, have sex with me." Apollon said bluntly.

The moon god was taken aback by Apollon's words, he wasn't sure if he heard them right, "E-excuse me?"

"Your illness...it'll be cured when the love is requited, right? So maybe...if we do this, you'll get better."

Tsukito shook his head, "Wait no, you should do that with someone you love."

Apollon steps closer to Tsukito until he had backed him up against a wall, "You love me don't you? Don't you?"

"Yes, but you love Kusanagi Yui." Tsukito said, "We can't hurt her like this."

"It's okay. She...she gave me permission. And I've had experience with men before, so I know what I'm doing."

"But we don't know if this is going to work."

"We won't know unless we try." Apollon said. He grabbed Tsukito by the shoulders and pinned him to the wall. Tsukito found himself unable to look away from the sun god's gaze. He was trapped in pleading, desperate look in those brilliant green eyes. "Please, Tsuki-Tsuki...just let me do this for you. You're okay if I do this for you, right?"

This was wrong. He really shouldn't be doing this. His mind kept screaming to not do this. Think about Yui. Think about how awful she must feel to have to give the love of her life to someone else, even if it was temporary.

Yet, the word "Yes." fell from his lips.

Everything happened so fast, Tsukito couldn't keep up. Next thing he knew, Apollon was half-naked on top of him, ripping a condom packet open with his teeth.

In the end, Tsukito let his desires suppress any remaining doubts he had in the back of his mind. This is what he wanted right? The object of his affections was right here, offering the comfort that he so desperately needed. Tsukito wanted to be loved. Needed to be loved.

That's why he was here now, naked and bare before Apollon. That's why he was submitting to the sun god's gentle touch for the night. Why Tsukito was chanting Apollon's name over and over while drowning in the ecstasy of feeling the sun god thrusting inside of him. He should allow himself this happiness, even if it was only for a night. For a night, he could pretend Apollon loved him. Pretend Apollon was his and not Yui's.

Now that the girl crossed his mind, he then started to realize: there was a small part of him, a very small part, that wanted to indulge out of petty spite.

He was...truly a selfish and despicable being, wasn't he?

* * *

Apollon was gone by the next morning.

Tsukito later found him in the halls on the way to class. With Yui, unsurprisingly. Apollon locked eyes with the moon god for just a brief moment, before turning his attention back to Yui.

Tsukito thought this would be a one time thing. Nothing more than a fleeting memory.

It wasn't until Apollon came to his dorm again to check up on him. When he realized Tsukito's symptoms weren't improving, he decided just once wasn't enough. Tsukito didn't know how things escalated so quickly, but they did. It was starting to become their routine. Apollon beds him for the night and then he'd belong to Yui in the morning.

Despite knowing full well that this was only going to be a temporary arrangement, Tsukito found himself yearning for more. He wasn't supposed to be, but he was. He wanted more of Apollon's touch, his voice, his scent, his _everything_. But he could only have those things in his fantasies, for the nights Apollon spent with Yui.

Oddly enough, there hadn't been any flowers for several days, much to Apollon's joy.

Tsukito wanted to think it was because Apollon truly was concerned for him and wanted to help, but the nagging anxiety in the back of his mind was starting to convince him that it was only because he could go straight back to Yui and toss Tsukito aside like a forgotten memory.

That's right, Apollon's world revolved around Yui. Tsukito meant nothing to him.

Even when the sun god says he doesn't mind helping him, Tsukito could see the shame and guilt in his eyes. It made Tsukito's own doubts even worse. He was ruining Apollon's perfect relationship with Yui. It was his fault for making Apollon feel like he had to take responsibility for his illness.

Yet, Tsukito couldn't bring himself to end things here. Not yet.

Yes, he wanted to be selfish for a little while longer.

* * *

Apollon woke up in the middle of the night. Usually he'd return to his own dorm immediately after sex, but this time around it seemed he ended up falling asleep with Tsukito.

He glanced over at the moon god, who was curled up next to him, peacefully asleep. Apollon couldn't help but be mesmerized by Tsukito's serene expression as he slept, his soft skin as pale as the moon itself, and the way his silky lavender hair seemed to frame his face perfectly,

The sight was just so beautiful, Apollon found himself leaning over towards Tsukito. His mind blanked out for a moment and his body seemed to move on his own. When he came to his senses, he realized he now had his face so dangerously close to Tsukito's. Any more and their lips would touch.

Then Apollon pulled away. What was he thinking? That wasn't Yui.

Yet, he couldn't stop thinking about all those nights with Tsukito. He had come to find out that...he didn't actually dislike it. And that's what terrified him.

The sun god gazed upon Tsukito's face for a little while longer, resolving to nip whatever he was feeling right at the bud. Tsukito was starting to get better and Apollon can soon go back to his loving, happy relationship with Yui and forget any of this ever happened. It would be bad if he got too attached now.

Apollon turned and faced the other way before dozing back to sleep.

He was awoken again in the morning, greeted with the sound to coughing and choking. Tsukito's hands were clamped against his mouth, desperately trying to contain whatever was coming out. Blood slipped through Tsukito's fingers, dripping down his arms and onto the white sheets. Apollon rubs Tsukito's back, hoping it'll help force everything out quicker.

Apollon's eyes widened in horror when he saw the long, thin needles mixed in with Tsukito's blood, "Are those...pine needles?"

He felt his stomach twist into knots. He went and slept with his friend and it was all for nothing. _Nothing_.

 _Black pine - Pity_

* * *

After Tsukito had gotten cleaned up, they both picked their clothes off the floor and silently got dressed for school. The tension in the air was so uncomfortable, but neither of them could bring themselves to say anything.

Unable to bear the thick tension any longer, Apollon finally decides to break the silence, "Tsuki-Tsuki...let's stop this."

"What?"

"I really want to help you, I really do. I thought I'd be fine with doing this, but..." Apollon avoids Tsukito's gaze, "I love Fairy. I can't keep doing this to her."

Tsukito saw this coming...yet it was still painful hearing it from Apollon himself. He cast his eyes downward, "I know." He answered, his voice barely above a whisper.

Apollon let out a sigh, "Tsuki-Tsuki...just get the surgery. You'll find someone who you can love someday and they'll love you just as much."

"No!" Tsukito snaps, his voice echoing throughout the room, "I'll stop loving if I do that! I'll stop feeling anything!"

Apollon flinched at the moon god's outburst. Considering his usual calm demeanor, this was totally unexpected of him. And he didn't know how to handle it. "Tsuki-Tsuki, you don't know that."

"Yes, I do." Tsukito argued, "I learned how to feel emotions. I felt envy, anger, sadness, and joy...because I loved you. If I lose that, then what else do I have?"

"Tsuki-Tsuki, please be reasonable. I just want you to be okay." Apollon's hands reached over to hold Tsukito by the shoulders.

Tsukito jumps at Apollon's touch and reacts by shoving him away, "Don't touch me!"

The sun god stared at him wide-eyed and dumbfounded, "Tsuki-Tsuki…?"

"You wanted to leave, right? Just leave!" Tsukito screams. "I should've never agreed to this in the first place."

Apollon's heart just about cracked. He expected some resistance, maybe some begging, but the moon god was actively putting distance between them. Apollon's eyes briefly met Tsukito's and he quickly realized: his eyes conveyed something completely different than what he said. He could read the desperation and heartbreak in those honey-golden eyes. Tsukito was in fact pleading him to stay in the most subtle way possible.

But Apollon chose to ignore it. He chose to leave and never look back.

* * *

Tsukito was probably going to be late for class, but right at this moment, time seemed like an illusion to him. All he saw was white. All he heard was deafening silence. He just felt...numb.

He didn't even notice he was coughing up a bouquet of large, pale purple flowers until he realized that they were hanging out of his mouth, scabiosas if he's not mistaken. The long, thin stems were still stuck in his throat.

He grabbed the bunch of flowers by the stems and pulled the rest of them out, wincing slightly as he felt the long stems in his throat slither inside. And even with this he didn't feel any pain.

He dropped the flowers onto the floor, continuing to gag on blood and saliva. Even when he thought it was all over, he found it significantly more difficult to breathe afterwards. He felt a dull pressure in his chest, like something was constricting him from the inside. He clutched his chest, hoping it would somehow alleviate it, but instead he felt something there. Something hard.

Fearing the worst, he jumped up and rushed over to the bathroom. His fingers fumbled with the buttons as he tried undoing them with shaky hands. His eyes widened in horror when he opened his shirt to expose his bare chest. He wanted to scream, but no sound would escape his throat. All he could do is stare at the mirror, absolutely petrified.

It looked like vines of some sort that were bulging out from under his skin. They spread out from the middle of his chest, creeping across his ribcage, his shoulders, and even up his neck.

Tsukito traced a finger along these strange vines over and over, they felt hard under his skin and were extremely painful when he does so much as gently press on them.

In the end, Tsukito had no one to blame but himself. It was his own fault for developing feelings for Apollon. It was his own fault for letting the disease progress this far.

He refused the treatment only because he was foolishly clinging to the small hope that the sun god would maybe...just maybe...would feel the same way for him. That he'd leave Yui on his own accord. But in the end, that was all wishful thinking. Apollon had chosen Yui. No matter what, he would always choose Yui in the end. Right now, Apollon would probably be with her, relishing in her love and devotion, pretending all those nights with Tsukito never happened and everything was fine. Like he could easily forget about Tsukito and move on.

Tsukito curled up under the blankets later that night, tightly clutching Usamaro close to his chest. He has lost all hope of ever curing his illness, but he didn't care. He stopped caring a long time ago.

 _Scabiosa - unfortunate love_

* * *

Takeru stood outside his brother's room, listening to the quiet sobs coming from behind the door. And he was absolutely fuming with rage. He had heard it. He had heard all of it.

He waited until the next day to confront the sun god.

They inevitably ran into Apollon on the way to class, but he seemed to ignore them. He didn't even notice Tsukito, too caught up in Yui to even acknowledge him. He laughed and joked with her, acting as if nothing was wrong. Like Tsukito wasn't worth his attention. This only fueled the sea god's fury further.

So Takeru waited until the end of class, knowing his older brother would immediately hold him back if he tried to start anything.

Yui immediately approaches Apollon like she always does after class was over, "Apollon-san, can we-"

Takeu suddenly jumps in, grabbing Apollon by the arm, "Sorry, he has something to do with me today." He said with a fabricated smile.

"Oh, is that so?" Yui asked, a quizzical look gracing her features.

Apollon raised an eyebrow, "Do I? I would think I would remember something like that."

"Come on, Apollon, you promised me." Takeru said, gripping Apollon's arm tighter, "I'll give him back to you later, don't worry."

Yui just smiled, "It's alright. Take your time."

Despite the sun god's protests, Takeru dragged him all the way to rhe emptiest hallway he could find.

"Did you need something, Take-Take?"

"So...you've been fucking my brother?" The sea god questioned out of the blue.

The sun god's face paled, "I...how did you know?"

Takeru rolled his eyes, "I live in the same fucking dorm, Asswipe. The walls aren't that fucking thick."

"I...I thought it might cure him. It'll go away once the love is returned, right?" Apollon said, "But why didn't it work?!"

"I don't know, Apollon, did you love him?" Takeru asked.

"I mean...I do. But not in that way. I only feel that way for Fairy."

Takeru stared blankly at the sun god for a few moments as if letting those words sink in. Next thing Apollon knew, he was being slammed against the wall.

"Son of a bitch!" Takeru screams in his face, pinning Apollon to the wall by the collar. "Did you honestly think you could just pity fuck my brother a few times and hope he'll be cured just so you can immediately run straight back to the Weed?"

"I...I didn't want him to die...what else was I supposed to do?"

"And yet you basically left him for dead anyway as soon you figured out you needed to actually love him to cure him. Did you even once considered his feelings at all?"

"I tried, Take-Take, I really tried. But my heart belongs to Fairy. How can I say I love her to her face when I'm sleeping with another man at the same time?"

"What? I thought that kind of thing was normal for you Greek gods." Takeru scoffs in response, "Did you not want him to die because you actually cared about him? Or is it because you knew it's going to be on you if he dies so you wanted to comfort your own conscience?"

"I…." The sun god found himself unable to answer.

"Had I not been deprived of my divine powers, I would've slaughtered you. Make no mistake about that."

"Totsuka Takeru, that's enough."

Tsukito put a hand on Takeru's shoulder, gently urging him away.

"But, Anii…!"

"This doesn't concern you. Just let it go." Tsukito chides him sternly.

Takeru reluctantly relaxes his grip on Apollon's collar. He glares him down, making himself look as intimidating as possible, "This isn't over."

Tsukito doesn't spare Apollon even a brief glance and went on his way. Apollon could feel his heart ache a little. He knows he was the one who decided to break things off, but he couldn't help but feel awful seeing Tsukito so saddened by it to the point of refusing to look at him. Takeru was right, he was only thinking about himself, not once taking Tsukito's feelings into consideration.

A part of Apollon wanted to apologize, make it up to Tsukito, plead for his friendship back. But the damage has been done. Apollon made this decision and he has to deal with the consequences.

The sound of collected gasps and screams were heard right around the corner.

Apollon quickly made his way towards the source of the noise and turned his attention to the gathering crowd in the middle of the hall. Tsukito had fallen onto the floor, his body convulsing violently as blood and petals leaked in slow pulses out of his mouth.

"Anii!" Takeru rushed over in a panic, cradling his brother's body.

"Tsuki-Tsuki!" Apollon reached out a hand to offer his help, but Takeru pulled Tsukito away, clutching him even closer.

"Stay away from him! Haven't you done enough?"

Apollon could only watch helplessly as Takeru carried his brother to the infirmary. His hands gripped at his stomach, trying to ease the growing nausea in his gut. It did not help.

This was all his fault.

* * *

 **Okay admittedly, I got a biiit lazy with this one. I just wanted to get this done and over with sooner so I can write the next AU I'm obsessing over**


	4. Wilt

***shows up five months late with Starbucks* lmao here's the ending**

* * *

Takeru anxiously waited outside the infirmary. He brought Tsukito here, only to be kicked out moments later as he was distracting the nurses. But it only made his panic even worse. Takeru closed his eyes, quietly pleading to whatever higher power was up there. It sounded odd; a god praying to another god, but at this point, it's all Takeru feels he could do.

He's never lifted his head so fast as he heard the infirmary's door opening. He did not hesitate in running up to Thoth.

"How is he?" Takeru demanded, the panic and fear evident in his voice.

"He's stable for now, but it's only a matter of time." Thoth said solemnly, shaking his head, "The disease is progressing faster than expected."

"Then can't you just operate on him?"

"I'm afraid it's become inoperable at this point. He's been under so much emotional distress lately, the disease must've picked up on it and worsened considerably."

"Then what can we do to save him?!"

"Nothing. You've noticed it too, haven't you?" Thoth said, "He's resolved to die."

The sea god just froze in his spot. Of course he noticed it. But he thought he could reason with his brother. Convince him it was pointless to chase something he couldn't have. That it wasn't worth risking his life over. Takeru should've tried harder...if only he had tried harder...

Unable to contain his anger, Takeru slammed his fist against the nearest wall hard enough to make a slight indent, "I'll kill him. I'll kill Apollon. I'll make him pay for what he did to Anii!"

"Do you honestly think taking your anger out on him will solve anything?" Thoth asked. He let out a sigh, "I...I should've done more….I should've tried harder to convince him to get the surgery sooner, but...maybe I was also hoping he could be saved with Apollon's love." Under the Egyptian god's usual stern gaze, the sea god could see the underlying sadness and guilt that was very uncharacteristic of him. His voice goes quiet as he utters, "I'm sorry...Takeru."

"Can I see him now?" Takeru asked.

"Yes, of course." Thoth replied before turning the other direction to leave.

Takeru hesitantly opened the door. The infirmary was dim and uncomfortably silent. The sea god choked back a sob when he saw his brother in bed, hooked up to so many strange machines. He seemed weaker, frailer. His already pale skin was bone white and his cheeks were visibly sunken. Tsukito was well on his way to death and he already looked the part.

But Takeru refuse to let himself cry, not in front of his brother. Tsukito's days are numbered, but Takeru knew the last thing he wanted was to spend his last days seeing him grieving for him.

For the rest of the day and through the entire night, Takeru never left Tsukito's side. Even as he fell asleep at Tsukito's bedside, he clung very tightly to Tsukito's hand. As daylight broke through the horizon, Takeru awoke when he felt Tsukito's hand twitch ever so slightly.

"Anii, you're awake!"

Tsukito let out a groan, lifting his hand to reach the oxygen mask covering his face. Takeru was quick to stop him, "No. That'll help you breathe, don't take it off."

"What happened?" Tsukito asked.

"Your illness has gotten worse. There's no way you can remove it now." Takeru explained to him.

Tsukito's eyes don't even flinch at the news, "Oh….alright."

"Just...alright?" Takeru asked, "Anii, you are actively dying and that's your reaction?"

"It doesn't matter how I feel about it, I don't have a lot of time left either way. It's not like it'll change anything." Tsukito replied solemnly, "At the very least...when I'm gone...Apollon Agana Belea can love Kusanagi Yui without me in the way."

"Anii…"

"I hope they can be happy together."

"Anii, stop it!" Takeru yells, his voice echoing throughout the room, "How...how can you say that? You're like this because of them! You should be angry at them!"

Tsukito shook his head. "No...they didn't do anything. I'm the one who developed feelings for someone I couldn't have. I brought this on myself...and I was completely prepared for the consequences."

"Why…?" Was the only word Takeru could utter.

"We were brought here for a reason, Totsuka Takeru, and I think I finally understand why now. Even if it's painful...love is a wonderful thing...and I don't want to trade it for anything else." Tsukito explained to him, smiling softly despite himself. "Totsuka Takeru, when I'm gone...please don't resent them."

Tsukito suddenly felt a warm tingling sensation around his wrist. He lifts his hand to see his bracelet glow with a blinding white light before crumbling away.

Takeru's eyes widen in disbelief, "Your shackle broke…."

This was something they should celebrate, but the fact that Tsukito probably won't even live to see graduation made the joyous occasion all the more bitter.

* * *

Later that day, Hades found Takeru wandering the halls, arms full of all kinds of food, presumably for Tsukito. When the sea god didn't show up in class at all, Hades couldn't help but worry for him. Right now he's putting up a tough front, but it wasn't enough to hide the pain and despair he held in his heart.

"Takeru." Hades called out to him.

Takeru turned, grinning brightly when he faced Hades, "Oh, Hades-san. I was just getting some food for Anii. I figured he would get hungry…"

Hades doesn't say a word. He just walks up to Takeru and grabbed him by the shoulders, pulling him close so that the sea god's forehead was pressed against his chest.

That brief moment of contact was enough to make Takeru crack. His body began trembling as tears began streaming down his face. His arms went slack and dropped everything onto the floor, but neither of them could even be bothered with the mess.

"Hades-san...I….I don't know what to do…" Takeru broke into sobs, "I don't want to lose him like this….I can't…"

Hades held Takeru close to his chest, "I'm sorry, Takeru...that things had to turn out this way."

"I should've done more…maybe I should've...ignored Anii and sabotaged Apollon and Kusanagi's relationship when I had the chance."

"Don't say that. You did the best you could, Takeru. I'm sure Tsukito won't hold it against you." Hades said.

Takeru looked up at him with teary eyes, "What's going to happen to Anii now?"

There was no way Hades could provide any sort of comforting answer, "Takeru...I'm sorry...even I don't know where gods go after death." he answered solemnly.

The sea god doesn't berate him for that. He just simply buried his face in Hades' chest, hugging tightly like his life depended on it. In that moment, Hades felt so utterly helpless as he listened to the sea god sob and scream into his chest. He could do nothing else but comfort him.

* * *

Apollon stood in front of the doors of the infirmary. He lifts his hand to knock on the door, but he found himself hesitating. If Tsukito answered the door...what would he even say to him?

The sun god finally swallowed his pride and gently tapped his knuckles against the varnished wood.

The door cracked open, giving Apollon a glimpse of that familiar lilac hair...before it shut again.

"Tsuki-Tsuki, wait!" Apollon protests, pushing on the door before it could close completely. "I need to talk to you. I really, really need to talk to you."

"There's nothing to talk about. I agreed to never talk about what happened between us?"

"I know I made you do that, but I'm sorry. I was only thinking of myself."

"Do you honestly think I would forgive you just because you said sorry? Do you have any idea how much you've hurt me, Apollon Agana Belea?" Tsukito says coldly, "Why don't you just leave me alone and run back to Kusanagi Yui?"

"No, I won't do that. I left her and she was fine with it." Apollon said, "I was such a fool for thinking I loved her, but I understand now. The one I love is you, Tsuki-Tsuki. It's always been you."

"Don't mock me! I don't want your pity." Tsukito yells through the door, making the sun god jump. But still, this did not waver him.

"Please, Tsuki-Tsuki...what can I do to make you believe me?" Apollon begged, "Please...let me in."

He felt the pressure on the door release, assuming the moon god was letting him come in. He gently pushed on the door and slipped into the room.

Tsukito was curled up on the bed next to the window, vacantly staring out into the sunset.

"Tsuki-Tsuki…"

"You came here to talk, right? Then talk." Tsukito said.

"I'm sorry...for treating you the way I did. I didn't take your feelings seriously. But my feelings for you are real. They really are. I know that now."

Tsukito continues staring at the fiery orange sky outside, showing no indication of responding.

"I know, words are just empty to you now, but maybe this will prove my feelings to you." Apollon held Tsukito's face by the chin and leaned in closer to press a kiss against his lips. He was half-expecting a little resistance but there was none. Instead the moon god seemed to happily accept it, letting his lips meld together with Apollon's. In that moment, it felt like sparks were flying and it was then Tsukito knew Apollon wasn't lying to him. Not this time.

"Are you okay with this?" Apollon asked.

Tsukito looked up at him, trying to catch his breath after the kiss, "Always. You know how badly I wanted this?"

Apollon smiled, "I know…"

As night fell, the two gods drowned themselves in pleasure and ecstasy. They took turns letting each other's hands wander each other's bodies, taking in every single little detail while whispering words of love to each other. Apollon was in absolute bliss when he felt himself being surrounded by Tsukito's tight heat. The moon god held Apollon in his arms, making it very clear he doesn't intend on letting him go ever again. But Apollon wasn't complaining. This was where he truly belonged.

The sun god sucked in a breath as Tsukito licked and bit various spots on his neck, leaving very obvious red marks, "Tsuki-Tsuki, stop...everyone will see."

"I don't care. Let them see." Tsukito murmured, "Let them all know that you're mine."

Apollon let out a contented sigh, "That's right, I'm yours."

* * *

Apollon woke up in a cold sweat. His breaths came out in ragged puffs as his hair was sticking to his forehead. He glanced over at Yui, who was sleeping peacefully beside him. He gently lifted the sheets, a feeling of shame settling in his gut when he saw the obvious wet spot on the front of his underwear...again.

He's been having this reoccurring dream for weeks now. Every time he closed his eyes, he could vividly see the lavender-haired god under him, face flushed, and desperately crying out his name.

He didn't understand why. He was only trying to do Tsukito a favor with no strings attached. But maybe Takeru was right...maybe he only did it for his own selfish reasons. Apollon laughs bitterly at the thought.

The one he truly loved was Yui. He needed to only love her, needed to only think of her, yearn for her touch and her touch only.

He wanted to be happy with Yui, he wanted his heart to flutter when he was around her, he wanted warmth bubbling in his gut whenever they touched. Yet, every time he looked at her, he found himself imagining the moon god in her place one too many times.

He should feel disgusted with himself, dreaming about another man like this while his girlfriend slept a mere inch away. She didn't deserve this.

But he didn't. And that's what bothered him.

* * *

Class has been...quiet lately. The liveliness that usually was there seemed to have completely disappeared. It seems that, with the news of Tsukito's condition, everyone is having a hard time coping.

"Ugh! I can't take it anymore!" Loki slams his hands against the desk, alarming the other gods, "Are we really going to spend our last days here moping around like zombies?"

"Loki...right now isn't appropriate." Balder gently chided him.

"Yeah, I know. But don't you think we should make the most of the time he has left...so we don't have any regrets when he's gone?"

"But…"

"Tsukito broke his shackle. We all can graduate now!" Loki cuts Balder off. "So why don't we celebrate it while...while Tsukito's still here." He said, his voice noticeably cracking.

The room goes dead quiet for a few moments.

"It's...not a bad idea." Hades agreed.

"Well, if you put it that way...I suppose we can do it." Balder said, "In that case, I'm all for it."

"Any objections?" Loki asked.

No one spoke up.

Loki turned to Apollon, "Hey, Student Council President, you good?"

The sun god snapped out of his trance at the sound of being called, "Eh?"

"Jeez, what is with you lately?" Loki groaned, "I'm talking about throwing a graduation party."

Apollon's skin paled at the idea. This probably meant they'd try to find some way for Tsukito to attend and he wasn't quite sure if he wanted to face him right now. He hesitates for a moment, but then finally decides he shouldn't ruin everyone's fun with his own problems. And plus...Tsukito deserved to spend his last days surrounded by his friends.

"….Sure. Why not?"

"Alright, it's settled! We're doing it!" Loki clapped his hands together in enthusiasm, "Now what are we waiting for? Get off your asses and make the preparations!"

* * *

Tsukito was met with quite the surprise when the other gods came barging into the infirmary. Each of them had armfuls of food and decorations, much to the moon god's confusion.

"What's this?" He asked.

"A graduation party, what else?" Balder replied cheerfully.

"Then shouldn't you be having it in the classroom?"

"Idiot, you know we can't just leave you out. So we decided to have it in here!" Loki said, "Thor, help me with the decorations!"

Hades walked up to Tsukito's bedside, "Tsukito, how are you doing?"

"If I'm being honest, it just keeps getting worse." Tsukito replied, "But you caught me on a good day."

"I, uh...brought strawberry daifuku for you." Hades said, offering Tsukito a carefully wrapped box.

Tsukito smiled, "Of course. I would expect that from you, Hades Aidoneus."

"And I brought wine." Dionysus chimed in, presenting Tsukito with a crate full of wine bottles.

"...I thought I confiscated that."

The Greek god just winked at him, "You haven't got to my secret stash, though."

At this point, Tsukito couldn't even be bothered to scold him. He was amused, actually.

At a moment like this, Tsukito was truly grateful for the friends he had. But at the same time, it made it even more painful, knowing he will leave them soon. It was then he realized...they knew this. That was why they came here today. For now, Tsukito just pushed those feeling aside so he can enjoy himself being surrounded by his wonderful friends.

"Hey…" Loki piped up, "Isn't Apollon coming?"

* * *

Apollon stood in front of the doors of the infirmary. He could hear laughing from the other side of the door, indicating they were well into the middle of the party. The others seem to be enjoying themselves.

Apollon had his hand on the doorknob, but he just couldn't will it to move. Part of him wanted to join in on the festivities, but fear and anxiety just consumed him. He was afraid of seeing Tsukito in his current condition. Afraid of facing him after everything that's happened between them. Afraid of seeing the consequences of his actions.

He...truly was a coward, wasn't he?

"I'm sorry, Tsuki-Tsuki…" he sighed, pressing his forehead against the door, "You don't deserve someone like me."

After a bit of contemplation, Apollon turned and left.

* * *

Apollon was zoned out all throughout class the next day. He stared vacantly out the window as Thoth's lecture droned on and on.

"GUYS!" Takeru burst into the classroom, heavily panting as if he had sprinted his way over here. "Anii's gone missing!"

"In his condition?" Hades asked.

"We have to find him!" Dionysus yelled.

In a panic, the gods abruptly stood from their seats and rushed out of the classroom. Thoth would usually get angry at this, but in such a dire moment, he couldn't bring himself to stop them.

"Everybody split up. He couldn't have gotten far!" Hades said as they ran out of the school building.

"Tsuki-Tsuki!" Apollon yells at the top of his lungs, "Tsuki-Tsuki!"

He ran and he ran, searching every inch he could for Tsukito. He screamed the moon god's name until his throat was raw and his voice was raspy. And even then, he still desperately called out for him.

Something bright red in the dirt caught his eye. Upon closer inspection, they were spider lilies.

Apollon frantically searched around, finding another spot of the same flower. And another and and another. There was a whole trail of them.

He soon found himself following the trail through the forest, the sounds of coughing becoming louder and louder the further he went.

When he reached the clearing, he found the moon god slumped against a tree, his chest heaving up and down as he desperately gasped for air. Blood dripped down his face as he expelled more flowers, staining his white shirt. With much effort, he lifts his head up, just now acknowledging Apollon's presence.

He laughs bitterly, "And here I thought I was going to die quietly..."

"Tsuki-Tsuki!" The sun god rushed over to Tsukito's side, "Hang in there, Tsuki-Tsuki! I'll take you back to infirmary, we can treat you there!"

"Don't...it's already too late for me anyway..."

"Stop...don't talk like that. You're gonna be fine, okay? You're gonna be just fine."

"No…I'm not, you know that."

"Let's go back, Tsuki-Tsuki. I'll end my relationship with Fairy. I can even love you properly, just please..." Apollon begged, tears on the verge of spilling from his eyes.

Tsukito weakly shook his head, "You don't need to pretend for my sake...you know it won't work like that."

"Then what can I do?!" Apollon asked, "Please...tell me...what can I do…?"

"Apollon Agana Belea...please...hold me."

Without question, Apollon pulled Tsukito in his arms, letting his head rest on his shoulder.

Tsukito laughs softly, "Ahh…this feels nice. It's...rather comforting being held by you like this."

"Why...why, Tsuki-Tsuki? Why did you let this happen?" Apollon cried, "If you'd just gotten it treated, it would've been better if you forgot about me. At least then I wouldn't be causing pain to you anymore."

Tsukito coughed again, "Apollon Agana Belea, listen to me. I don't regret loving you...and I never will. I knew I would die...but I didn't care...because...I would rather die knowing I loved you." He weakly lifted a hand to stroke Apollon's hair, "But I'll be out of your way now. You're free to love Kusanagi Yui as you please. I hope...she makes you happy."

"I can't! I can't be happy...not without you..." Apollon sobbed, "It's meaningless without you!"

"I'm sorry...I love you...I love you...I love you..." Tsukito kept repeating as he felt the last bit of his life slip away, "I...love..."

"I love you too." Apollon replied.

There was a long moment of silence...then Tsukito started violently coughing, gasping and wheezing for air in between. This went on for what seemed like an eternity and Apollon was utterly helpless to do anything.

Then the coughing just stopped.

"Tsuki-Tsuki...?" Apollon's hands trembled as he held Tsukito in his arms. He wanted to pry Tsukito off of his shoulder, but he was too afraid of what he'll see when he does, "Oh no...please...please don't do this..."

Apollon was well aware that no amount of begging could fix anything.

All he could do was scream in anguish.

 _'Tis the last rose of summer_

 _Thus I kindly scatter_

* * *

A funeral was prepared a few days later.

They gathered in the same forest clearing where Tsukito had died. The Norse gods built a pyre while Anubis wrapped up the body to be cremated. Yui performed the final funeral rites before they set Tsukito's body ablaze.

The gods looked on with a heavy heart. Even Amaterasu came as soon as he heard the news of his counterpart's death, lamenting over the fact that he should've treated him better while he had the chance.

The worst part was: this could've easily been prevented.

Apollon couldn't help but wonder: did his feelings reach Tsukito at the very end or did he think it was Apollon's last-ditch effort to comfort him in death? That question burned in Apollon's mind, even though he knew he'll never know the answer.

"Even gods can die of a broken heart, huh?" Hades comments sadly.

Apollon glances over at Takeru, who was vacantly staring into the flames that engulfed his brother, "Take-Take...are you okay?"

The sea god doesn't answer for a few moments, hoping Apollon would just leave his sight. He doesn't. With a sigh of defeat, Takeru finally answers, "I'm fine. It's just...I kinda wish it were you up there, not him."

"I know."

Takeru balled his hands up into tight fists, "Oh, so you know? I'm sorry, I think I'm missing the part where he actually mattered to you. You didn't give a fuck about him or how he felt until you found out he was dying. Then in the end, you still couldn't bring yourself to care enough to save his life." he laughs bitterly, "So tell me, what's so special about you, huh? What makes you worth dying for?"

"Take-Take...I'm sorry." Apollon said. The only he could do was apologize, but he knew it was meaningless at this point.

In a split second, Apollon felt a fist connect with his face. He staggered back a few steps before he stumbled to the ground. He struggled to get up only to get kicked back down again.

"Give me my brother back, you bastard! Give him back!" Takeru screamed at him.

Apollon couldn't be bothered to fight back and just quietly accepted every single blow Takeru gave him until he was black and blue. He deserved this...he really did.

"Takeru, that's enough." Hades pried Takeru off of Apollon.

"But he's..." Takeru could barely finish talking before he completely broke down in tears. Hades pulled Takeru into his arms and held him tight. The sea god's hands trembled as he desperately clung to Hades' shirt

"No...he's right. I shouldn't be here." Apollon stood, his hand caressing at the bruise on his cheek.

He turned and headed in the direction of the academy, deciding to not see the funeral until the very end.

He had no right to mourn Tsukito anyway

* * *

After that, gods quickly realized, a world without Tsukito seemed so dull and bleak. It just didn't feel the same anymore without the moon god's quiet presence.

Takeru especially was hit the hardest. Losing his brother made him more closed off and distant, barely talking to anyone. He won't even look at Apollon anymore, which was understandable. He has taken to clinging around Hades since then, but no one was quite sure if it was to fill the void Tsukito left...or maybe it was something else.

Apollon and Yui had become more distant since then. He didn't know why they kept forcing themselves to be together when the love and adoration in Yui's eyes was no longer there. Every time their eyes met, they were filled with sorrow and regret. Apollon couldn't display his affection like he used to. Not when he knew this was the reason Tsukito died.

And that affection wasn't even there anymore.

Graduation day came quicker than any of them anticipated. This was supposed to be a joyous event for them, but it was far, far from that.

Apollon was called up to the stage to deliver his final speech as student council president. As he expressed his gratitude and farewells, his eyes kept going to the empty chair next to Takeru. The others thought the same thing, as they occasionally looked at the seat Tsukito was supposed to fill with solemn glances.

It was all he could think about. Not only did Takeru lose a brother, Hades...Dionysus...Balder, Loki, and Thor...and Yui...they had all lost a dear friend. And it was all his fault. He took Tsukito away from them.

Apollon tried his damned hardest to not just burst into tears right then and there, but he managed to fake it to the very end. Applause boomed throughout the auditorium, but it was numbing silence to Apollon. He didn't deserve it. He doesn't deserve to celebrate. He doesn't even deserve to graduate.

But now everything was over. He has no choice but the leave this place. Leave Tsukito behind.

After the ceremony, all the gods took the time to say their goodbyes before returning home.

Yui sought Apollon out after his speech, "Apollon-san, can I talk to you?"

"Yeah?"

Yui took Apollon by the hand and led him out of the auditorium and to somewhere where they could be alone.

"That was...a wonderful speech you gave." She complimented him.

"Thank you." Apollon replied, "So, what did you want to talk about?

Yui let out a sigh, "I don't know how I should break it you gently but...I would like to end this."

"What? What do you mean?" Apollon asked.

"Our relationship, I mean."

Of course. Apollon should've seen this coming. There was no point in holding off the inevitable.

"Hey, Apollon-san...if we didn't fall in love...would Tsukito-san still have been alive?"

Apollon couldn't bring himself to answer her.

"It's an obvious answer, isn't it? It's all our fault." Yui sobbed, "I was being selfish. I loved you too much and wanted you to myself...but now Tsukito-san is gone because of that. And now we'll have to live with that guilt for the rest of our lives."

"Fairy…you did nothing wrong. It's all my fault. All of it is mine." Apollon assured her, "If I had just been honest with myself and not tried so hard to convince myself that I loved you, I could've...I could've saved him sooner."

There was a long moment of silence"Once I leave this place, I'll have my memory erased. I'll forget about our relationship...and Tsukito-san. I know it's cowardly of me, but I don't think I can go on living with this guilt." Yui said.

"I understand. You deserve to go on with your life without worry."

"What about you, Apollon-san?"

"This is my burden to bear now." Apollon sighed.

"Will you...be okay?" Yui asked.

"I don't know. But you shouldn't worry about me now." Apollon said, smiling as he brushed away a lock of her hair, "Go live your life, Fairy."

Yui just simply nodded, "I will."

Apollon wrapped his arms around her delicate frame, "I'll miss you."

"Me too." Yui replied, "Hey, Apollon-san."

Apollon released her from his embrace, "Yeah?"

"Takeru-san...buried the ashes in the forest...in case...you want to pay Tsukito-san a visit one last time."

"Is that it?"

"Yeah...goodbye, Apollon-san." With that, she turned and left.

Apollon smiled as he watched her leave, "Fairy...thank you for everything."

* * *

Apollon found himself in the forest clearing. Everyone had returned to their worlds already and he was the only one left. He couldn't leave just yet. Not without saying goodbye.

He stood where Tsukito was buried. The area was already decorated with candles and flowers left by the other gods.

"It's just only us now, huh?" Apollon kneeled before the makeshift grave. "You know...I'm really happy I met you. I really am. You were always so determined and hard-working. I really admired you for that. I don't know what exactly you saw in me, to be honest. Even when I was with Fairy, you kept your feelings hidden, so that we could be happy. You're really kind and selfless, Tsuki-Tsuki...and yet, I took all that for granted…you're gone now, because I was such an idiot."

His body trembled as he tried to hold back his tears, "I'm sorry, Tsuki-Tsuki...I'm so sorry…"

Apollon's wails filled the air as tears flowed endlessly down his face. While no one was here to see, he cried and he cried. All this guilt and remorse weighed down on him, crushed him until it suffocated him. It was all too much.

He really wasn't worth dying for. Tsukito deserved so much better.

He cried until his eyes were dry and his throat no longer could scream out.

Apollon stood and in a brief flash of light, manifested his true form. Now it was finally time for him to say goodbye. Wherever Tsukito was right now, he hopes he's happy there.

"You don't deserve to be buried and forgotten like this...so let me do this last thing for you...let me leave proof that you existed."

* * *

"I'm home..."

"Well shit, took you long enough."

Apollon looked up to be greeted with a face nearly identical to his. Usually he'd be ecstatic after being separated from his twin for so long, but all he could manage was a half-hearted "Hey, Arte."

"You've been gone for a year and all I get is a 'Hey, Arte'? And to think I came all this way to welcome you back." Artemis fakes a sniffle, throwing her head back in a theatrical faint, "I'm hurt, Apollon."

"Sorry, it's just...it's been hard for me lately. I would like some time alone, please."

Artemis laughs, "What did Zeus do to you in that school? Did it fuck you up that bad?"

"Artemis, not now." Apollon says sternly. "Please-"

He suddenly found himself bursting into a fit of coughing. He lost all ability to breathe as he felt something trying to rip its way up his throat. Apollon gagged and coughed until large clusters of small dark purple flowers fell to the floor. His eyes widened in shock as he began to realize what was happening to him.

His eyes blurred with tears when he saw them. They were all too familiar to him, from a long, long time ago. Flashbacks to a beautiful youth dying in his arms flickered through his mind. Just when the guilt of letting Tsukito die was still fresh, he had to be reminded of him too?

Oh, this had to be some sort of sick form of punishment.

He couldn't save either of them. He...really was pathetic, wasn't he?

"What the...?" Artemis' eyes widened at the sight, suddenly very scared and concerned at the same time, "Apollon, if this is some kind of joke, it's not funny."

"Take me to Uncle Hades. Right now."

"O-okay." Artemis drapes Apollon's arm around her shoulder, pulling him up to a stand. As fast as she could, she took them to Hades' domain.

Artemis kicks the door to the throne room open, "Uncle!"

Hades looks up towards the twins in surprise, as if he wasn't expecting a visitor all of a sudden.

"Something's wrong with Apollon!"

Apollon slipped from Artemis' grasp as he kept coughing up more flowers. Hades immediately jumped up from his throne and rushed towards Apollon, kneeling by his side.

"It hurts...it hurts so bad..." Apollon sobbed. Was this what Tsukito suffered? How could he have kept quiet about it for so long?

"Artemis, leave us be."

"But…!"

"Now, Artemis. I will handle this." Hades said a little more sternly.

Artemis quietly exits the room without another complaint, but not before looking back at her brother in concern.

Hades stares in disbelief at the blood-covered flowers on the floor, "Don't tell me...you've developed the Hanahaki Disease yourself?"

"What else does it look like?" Apollon coughs.

"Is it...Tsukito?" Hades asked.

"I...I think so." Apollon gasps for breath, "But I don't understand...He loved me. It's requited, right? Right?"

"Not when he's dead…" Hades replied, "Apollon, you have to get rid of it."

"No...I deserve this pain. I made Tsuki-Tsuki suffer through this." Apollon said.

Hades shook his head, "No, Apollon, you'll die!"

"Then, fine! I'll just die!" Apollon's voice echoed throughout the throne room. There was a long moment of silence

"Apollon, please be reasonable. Tsukito wouldn't want this for you."

"No...this is my punishment. What if I stopped feeling love and forgot about Tsuki-Tsuki? Then that would mean he died for nothing, wouldn't it?" He looked up at Hades with a tear-stained face, his entire body trembling, "I'm scared, but...I have to go apologize to him. I have to apologize to Tsuki-Tsuki."

Hades held Apollon in his arms, feeling like the only thing he could do for him was comfort him, "I don't understand...why are you so resolved to die so easily?"

The sun god let out a sigh, resting his head on Hades' shoulder, "I'm just tired, Uncle...I'm tired of losing everyone."

 _Purple Hyacinth - sorry, please forgive me, sorrow_

* * *

The miniature garden has long been abandoned. The academy itself had crumbled to nothing. The life and brightness that once filled the garden was gone

But yet, there was still one part of the garden that flourished. A small clearing the the middle of a dying forest, filled with large, round white blossoms that gave off an ethereal glow in the moonlight. Flowers that bloomed only during the night, only to close again when touched by the morning sun. Their vines entangled everything in their path, creeping all the way up the surrounding trees.

"You've grown so beautifully, haven't you, Tsuki-Tsuki?"

Smiling softly, he reached out a hand to gently run his fingers along the delicate petals. Despite their beauty, it was a grim reminder of his mistakes. Of what he wished he had said and done while he had the chance.

An appropriate place to die for someone like him, isn't it?

His already weakened body collapsed onto the ground as flowers burst out of his mouth with each cough. His chest strained in an effort to breathe again, but he knew it'll all be futile in a few moments.

"I love you." Apollon barely chokes out with what little breath he had, "I love you, Tsuki-Tsuki." A single tear rolled down his cheek as he lay dying in the bed of flowers, "...I guess I don't have the right to say that anymore, do I?"

Apollon continued sputtering blood until his last breath left his lungs. Visions flickered before his eyes. Visions of a perfect future with just the two of them. A future where Tsukito was by his side, smiling happily as Apollon showered him with affection and vowed to love him every day into eternity. This was what they could've been.

He smiled bitterly as he slipped into the cold, dark embrace of death. Oddly enough, it wasn't as terrifying as he'd thought it would be. Rather, it was sort of comforting. It's like all the guilt that was weighing on his chest just simply vanished. He felt like he could breathe again.

He hears a voice calling out to him. A voice so gentle and so familiar. It caressed him like a warm whisper.

 _"Apollon Agana Belea...I have been waiting for you."_

 _Moonflower - Dreams of love_

* * *

 **Yo shoutout to my-eyes-follow-the-moon on tumblr for drawing a wonderful fanart for this fic and pretty much motivating me to finish it.**

 **Well, I guess I have to make my next fic end happily to make up for this mess**


End file.
